South Africa Is Less Attractive Now

Senior Writer
06.29.10 4 Comments

After all of the hubbub surrounding the presence of the wives and girlfriends of Team England’s players at the World Cup, those blokes probably could have used some extra buggering with their sexy birds. But after their 4-1 thrashing at the hand of the Germans, the British players and their clearly intelligent and charismatic WAGS returned home to face the scorn of their disappointed nation.

Unfortunately for the WAGS, their vacations in South Africa were quite short-lived. By order of English coach Fabio Capello, the sexy dames weren’t allowed anywhere near their husbands and boyfriends during the group match play, mainly because of the distractions caused by Abigail Clancy (to the sexy right) at the 2006 World Cup. The sophisticated ladies all obeyed this order, and for their selfless efforts they all spent about one day in South Africa, if that. Those poor, hard-working beacons of independence. However will they live?

Marry me for love and not fame, Daily Mail:

Christine Bleakley, who had been in the crowd to witness the German drubbing, still had a smile on her face as she disembarked from the plane at Heathrow airport.

Yesterday she looked subdued but still happy as she arrived at Johannesburg’s Tambo Airport to catch the same flight home as boyfriend Frank Lampard.

Similarly, Joe Cole’s wife Carly probably hoped her break could have lasted a little longer than just a few days in the country.

Some of the WAGS never even made it to South Africa, as they had been banking on England defeating Germany before they’d head to the airport. Instead they were forced to stay behind in their expensive flats and mansions and deal with their difficult days of shopping and bikini photo shoots.

The good news for the WAGS is that when the 2014 World Cup rolls around they’ll have a strong argument that their presence doesn’t distract the players. The bad news is that by then they’ll be in their early to mid-thirties and single. Isn’t that right, Toni Terry?

Aw, chin up, kiddo.

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