The Big East Wants to Take the Big 12 to Applebee’s, Get To Second Base

06.17.10 8 years ago 7 Comments

The Big 12 has saved itself from the threat of extinction, and Big East Commissioner John Marinatto could not be happier. He who has assembled the greatest football conference in history, was so moved by Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe’s wheeling and dealing, that he decided to send Beebe the gayest gift he could possibly think of:

If the Big 12 had folded, the Big East may have soon followed in a domino effect of teams leaving for superconferences that would have changed the college landscape forever. A college landscape that may not have included the Big East.

So on Tuesday, Marinatto showed his appreciation with a small gesture. His office sent 10 red and 10 white roses to Beebe and the Big 12 conference with a card that simply read “Unity.”

“The color combination signifies unity and 10 — rather than a dozen — represented their new membership number,” Marinatto told FanHouse Wednesday. –FanHouse

10 white roses, you say? That’s some pretty poetic symbolism, John. Soon, you’ll be able to get into some complex ideas, like how things that are white are good, and black things are evil. Just like the LAPD would have you believe.

As an undergrad of a Big East school, I would love nothing more than to see the football conference fold. Have you ever watched a Big East football game? It’s terrible. So terrible, that Duke Basketball superstar flop artist Greg Paulus started for Syracuse last season. I’d love to make a joke about it, but that’s just so infuriating I’m about to have an aneurysm. Marinatto was the working for the conference when they let all of their best football teams leave for the ACC, so you know he’s business savvy. Tony Hayward and the BP boys could have at least convinced Boston College to stay. More Greg Paulus highlights after the jump.

Greg gets tea bagged.

Here he is throwing an interception in overtime to lose the season opener to Minnesota.

Greg gets tea bagged, again.

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