Tim Buss, the Cubs' strength and conditioning coach, was the butt of a super-hilarious prank orchestrated by the team's pitching staff.
Buss, who had just driven [his '95 Nissan] to work, soon discovered that it had been demolished beyond recognition by some unknown perpetrators and brought to the ramp for him to see… The car windows had all been smashed in, the front, back and sides were all severely dented, and the smoking guns — a couple baseball bats and balls — were strategically placed in the windshield.
The Cubs players went on about their business and continued the workout while Buss silently fumed and wondered how he was going to tell his wife, who was the owner of the car… After the workout ended, Buss was talking about the incident to reporters in the Cubs clubhouse when [Ryan] Dempster told him to "quit pouting" and come with him to the weight room to "see something." From there, Buss and several pitchers walked out a back door and found a 2008 Nissan Xterra parked in the walkway.
What an awesome prank for a bunch of multi-millionaires to play on someone who's scraping by and driving his wife's 13-year-old vehicle. I'm sure Buss didn't want any kind of trade-in to help pay for the higher gas cost and insurance for that SUV. But still, totally worth it. I mean, did you see the way he was totally crushed by their whimsical, nonchalant destruction of his property? He practically gave up on life! Hilarious!