The Dugout: SFinal Destination 2

For every beginning there is an end.

That’s the tagline for Final Destination 2. In case part of their audience considered that philosophy, the second tagline is

More Speed. More Horror. More Death.

…and I’m guessing “these people are dying and Lol it is crazy” is right behind. Anyway, The Dugout returns (in 3-D! Not really) with part two of SFinal Destination, from guest writer Bill Hanstock. If you didn’t read part one, please be sure to do so before reading today’s strip because it picks up right where part one left off without any exposition. Kinda like Final Destination 2. The real humor in this is knowing that while the injuries have been exaggerated a bit, literally everything going on in these comics happened in real life. Even Brian Wilson’s face.

Please click through and enjoy the comic. The thrilling conclusion happens tomorrow.

The Dugout


** Online Host **
Welcome to the 2011 San Francisco Giants Late-June Chatroom!

DuanestSanchez: Okay Freddy, you’ve managed to stay healthy for a whole half a season. That’s a new personal best for you! Just keep it together until Pablo gets back and we’re in the clear here. We can do

DuanestSanchez: Whoop! Ground ball up the middle! We call that a “Sanchez Special” around here!

/dives to his right

  ** Online Host **
DuanestSanchez has dislocated and separated his shoulder like crazy.
BochyBall: Are you sh*tten me  
RideTheSabean: No sweat, Boch. We picked up Bill Hall for a song. He’ll slide right into the
starting second baseman role and nobody will be the wiser.
BochyBall: I dunno Sabey, you heard that guy talkin about cheating the design or whatever.  
RideTheSabean: Trust me.
/puts on super-cool Guy Fieri shades
  ** Online Host **
Welcome to the 2011 San Francisco Giants Mid-Summer Chatroom!

BillEmHall: /drops underhanded toss from shortstop


  ** Online Host **
BillEmHall has been cleaved in twain by the spikes of a baserunner and charged with three errors on the play.

BochyBall: /facepalm

Next you’ll tell me Tejada’s gonna get hurt.

MichaelTehader: No I fine.  
HRHuffNStuff: Same here.  
BochyBall: Thank goodness for small favors. Dunno what I’d do without the two pillars of my lineup.  
BurrellChested: Hey, Skip.  
BochyBall: Who in the hell are you?  
BurrellChested: I’m…I’m Pat Burrell.  
BochyBall: /stares blankly  
BurellChested: You let me pinch hit sometimesr because I’m slightly below average defensively?  
BochyBall: /stares  
BurrellChested: I lead the team in OBP and offensive WAR?  
BochyBall: /scrunches up face in confusion, stares  

BurrellChested: /sighs

I went 0 for 13 in the World Series with 11 strikeouts.

BochyBall: Oh! Right! That guy I hate second-most in the warld!  
BurrellChested: Right. Well, I got a bone spur in my foot.  
BochyBall: Great, go on the DL. I don’t give a sh*t. Anything to free up space for my favorite player, Mark De Rosa!  
BurrellChested: Why…why would you do that? Mark’s a great guy but he’s been injured the entire two years he’s been on the Giants.  
BochyBall: He’s been there before. He’s a gamer.  
BurrellChested: What does that even mean  

BochyBall: /glares

No wonder I hate you.

  ** Online Host **
BabyGiraffe has had his wrist broken by a pitch.
BochyBall: Hot damn! There goes my least favorite player in the warld! I’m callin’ up TWO Marks De Rosa!  
Candymanx5: /lurks in shadows  
MichaelTehader: /stands perfectly still  
  ** Online Host **
MichaelTehader has thrown out his entire groin.
MichaelTehader: ENNNNFFFFFFF  
BochyBall: Miggy! NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  ** Online Host **
Welcome to the 2011 San Francisco Giants Trade Deadline Chatroom!
RideTheSabean: Well, it wasn’t easy, and it didn’t come cheap, but we managed to acquire the single best player on the trade market!  
RideTheSabean: He’s going to single-handedly turn this offense around and take us to the postseason before he leaves the team forever in three months.  
MillionDollarBeltran: I’m just happy to help any way that I can.  
RideTheSabean: Trust me on this, there is NO ONE that we could have acquired at the trade deadline who would have made half as big an impact as you’re going to make.  
i_crapped_my_hunterpence: /annihilates the sh*t out of the ball  
i_crapped_my_hunterpence: /looks like a robot controlled by insects  
i_crapped_my_hunterpence: EKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKE  
i_crapped_my_hunterpence: /bats .600  
MillionDollarBeltran: Here goes nothing. /strikes out with a half-speed swing  
  ** Online Host **
MillionDollarBeltran’s hand has exploded.
MillionDollarBeltran: Called it.  
BochyBall: ugh at least it can’t get much warse.  
RidetheSabean: Whew, I’ve been working day and night, but I managed to sign the best shortstop available right at the trade deadline!  
DukeNeukom: Who, JJ Hardy?  
RideTheSabean: Uh, no. I said the BEST shortstop, not the biggest stupid baby who’s still wearing diapers.  
BochyBall: lol classic  
RideTheSabean: no, orlando cabrera  

TonyMEandDawn: /wears Prince Fielder’s hand-me-downs

/is a literal statue

Photos link to player info.