Sexy friends, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a loved one taken from us far too early, robbed of life by a conniving, evil, angry little man. Not only did sports fans not get the e-ticket of Suns-Warriors because the NBA doesn't do round-by-round re-seedings, but — as we all know by now — the NBA's fuehrer also ensured victory for the Spurs by following the letter, rather than the spirit, of the law. History is riddled with damned men who have ignored the just decision in favor of an unjust law, and all we can do as fans is turn our backs on the farce that plays on.
Rest in peace, 2007 NBA Playoffs. I will remember you for Warriors-Mavs, the lackluster Eastern Conference, and the historic death-rape of the Suns.