These Nuns Is About To Get Paid

10.27.10 7 years ago 5 Comments

A Baltimore-based order of nuns is cashing in on a pretty sweet present that was willed to them more than 11 years ago. The School Sisters of Notre Dame are auctioning off one of 60 known Honus Wagner baseball cards from the American Tobacco Company series of 1909-1911. The card is in terrible condition but is still likely to earn the nuns about $200,000, which they will split up among their 35 ministries worldwide. Or they can take their chances and trade me the card for what I’m holding up in this box right now. I’ll give you a hint – it’s porn.

The auction of this card has collectors and experts scratching their heads, because until now nobody has known that this specific card existed, since it had been owned by the same guy for more than 60 years. The card has been cut on the borders and has a heavy crease in one corner, and this is the very same language that caused me to not touch my first female boob until I was 17. Male boobs, however…

Where in the heavens did this card come from, NBC Sports?

A near-mint-condition T206 Wagner card sold in 2007 for $2.8 million, the highest price ever for a baseball card. Muller remains aghast that the 1 1/4-inch-by-2 1/2-inch piece of cardboard could sell for even a fraction of that.

“It just boggles your mind,” Muller told The Associated Press. “I can’t remember a time when we have received anything like this.”

The brother of a nun who died in 1999 left all his possessions to the order when he died earlier this year. The man’s lawyer told Muller he had a Honus Wagner card in a safe-deposit box.

When they opened the box, they found the card, with a typewritten note: “Although damaged, the value of this baseball card should increase exponentially throughout the 21st century!”

If you’re like me, you’re probably really handsome and wondering – so why did it take them 11 years to open the safety deposit box? And it might be because they first had to solve some thousand-year-old riddles left behind by Leonardo DaVinci with clues as old as the blood that ran through the veins of Jesus. But the real answer is because they’re women.

UPDATE: As has been pointed out, the brother died this year. I’ll still trade a box of porn for the card.

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