Happy New Year, fight fans! UFC 195 is head kicking off 2016 in a super huge way with what should be an awesomely violent welterweight title fight. Things start on Fight Pass at 6:30PM ET, so let’s figure out who’s going to win.
2015 (and earlier) results:
Jessica: 554-386-8 (59 percent)
Burnsy: 552-354-8 (61 percent)
Vince: 240-161-2 (60 percent)
Ryan: 10-5-1 (66 percent)
Danny: 161-77-1 (67 percent)
Spilled: 93-75-2 (55 percent)
Sydnie: 16-12 (57 percent)
Chris: 46-18-2 (71 percent)
NY Ric: 36-26-1 (57 percent)
Ghost: 6-7 (46 percent)
Seth: 32-15 (68 percent)
Biss: 41-39-1 (51 percent)
Jared: 120-65-1 (65 percent)
Melanie: 44-23 (66 percent)
Fake Mike Goldberg: 21-16 (57 percent)
We’re gonna clean the slate in 2016 and start anew, especially since we’ll have some more new friends joining us in the coming weeks…
Welterweight – Sheldon Westcott vs Edgar Garcia
Jessica: What better way to kick off a rad card than with two randos on the undercard? There’s no way in heck I’m picking a man named Sheldon Westcott to win a fist fight, so let’s go with Garcia to nab a third round TKO.
Burnsy: “Happy New Year from the UFC! Here are two people.” I’ll start the new year of new predictions by taking Westcott. Never judge a book by its really yuppie name.
Bantamweight – Joe “One Bad Mofo” Soto vs Michinori Tanaka
Jessica: Despite taking TJ Killashaw to almost the limit, Soto might be close to a pink slip. Tanaka is a Japan Alpha Male, so that’s cool. I’ll go with him to snag a decision here.
Burnsy: I don’t think Soto gets a pink slip if he loses this one, because his first of two consecutive losses was a 5-round balls-out fight against TJ Dillashaw, so I think he earns a breather. However, his loss to Anthony Birchak last June was embarrassing, so he needs to get his act together and prove himself. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt against a 1-1 Tanaka.
Lightweight – Dustin “The Diamond” Poirier vs “Irish” Joe Duffy
Jessica: This should be a super rad fight. Duffy’s got good boxing and a very solid ground game, but lightweight Poirier is pretty dang good. I think Dustin’s actually a little better on the ground, and I think he can hang well enough on the feet. These two will go tooth and nail for a while before Dustin can get the fight to the ground and get a submission. Poirier wins by third round tapout.
Burnsy: I’m so in love with the potential for this fight. I feel like Poirier is the Bizarro McGregor. Since losing to the Notorious One at UFC 178, Diamond has won two in a row and he has done so with outstanding authority. He brushed off the loss and made the next two guys pay, but at the same time he’s not really being pushed as a top guy behind Aldo. Maybe I’m just over-thinking it, but I feel like the guy who matters in this fight is Duffy, because he gives the UFC its Great White Hype storyline. If Joe “The Last Guy To Defeat Conor McGregor” Duffy wins, my god, I can’t even imagine the hype train for the rematch. I’m picking Poirier because he’s getting better with every fight and will be a scary contender… once his shit talking game catches up with his fists.
Lightweight – Scott “Hot Sauce” Holtzman vs Drew Dober
Jessica: Scott Holtz! HAWT SAWSE takes a decision and Dober probably starts getting measured for a Bellator fight kit.
Burnsy: Dober’s in danger of starting the New Year unemployed. 1-3-1 is no way to go through life in the octagon, son. Holtzman stays undefeated and sends Dober packing.
Strawweight – Justine Kish vs Nina “The Strina” Ansaroff
Jessica: For being a kickboxer type, Kish has more sub wins on her resume than knock-em-outs. Ansaroff is a decent striker, but I’m gonna take Kish on this one. I don’t really have a reason, just that I remember Justine having a decent story on TUF. Kish wins by decision.
Burnsy: Nina the Strina? Huh? Kish by severe nickname confusion.
Welterweight – Kyle “KO” Noke vs Alex “The Great White” Morono
Jessica: Noke kicked a terrifying noise out of Peter Sobotta’s guts, so I’m going full force behind the Aussie. Noke wins by first round KO.
Burnsy: Noke will have an easy win here because Morono is a noob filling in for my boy Kelvin Gastelum. Speaking of, I’m really concerned about just how derailed the Kelvin train has become. Guy was on pace to become the best fighter in the world, according to me, and then he dropped two of three (and should have never fought Tyron Woodley at less than 100 percent) and now pulled out because of a wrist. Between him and Gunnar Nelson losing two of three, I need to make my New Year’s resolution that I’ll stop jinxing the UFC’s best young fighters.
Bantamweight – Michael “Mayday” McDonald vs Masanori Kanehara
Jessica: McDonald’s taken some time off, got married and finally had The Sex. That’s gotta be good for his career. I’m taking Mikey McDeezy to TKO Kanehara in the second.
Burnsy: Welcome back, Mayday. For real, let’s start a stable of fighters who are all nicknamed after Cheers characters. Roy Nelson will join and become Norm, while Chael Sonnen can make his return as Cliff Clavin. While I work on that, Mayday wins.
Lightweight – Abel “Killa” Trujillo vs Tony “2.0” Sims
Jessica: I was all set to grudgingly pick Trujillo to win, but I glanced at Sims’ record, and daaaang, dude has a ton of KO wins. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that Tony puts out Trujillo’s lights in the second.
Burnsy: Killa desperately needs a win after losing to El Cucuy and suffering an embarrassing loss against Gleison Tibau. I’ll give Killa the push here to win.
Featherweight – Diego “DB” Brandao vs Brian “T-City” Ortega
Jessica: Diego is super aggressive and dangerous. For about 3 to 6 minutes. If Ortega can avoid getting his head punched off, he’ll have a super tired dude that he can grapple the heck out of. Too bad for T-City, I see Brandao punching Ortega in the head a lot. Brandao wins by first round KO.
Burnsy: At 28 years, Diego Brandao is one of the best fighters who seems like he’s 35. Coming off back-to-back losses to Dustin Poirier and Conor McGregor, DB has won his last two in style. This will be his third straight KO win.
Welterweight – Lorenz “The Monsoon” Larkin vs Albert “Einstein” Tumenov
Jessica: Oh dip! This should be a Rad As Heck kick-n-punch fight. I’m going with Tumenov to get a second round TKO here, but it’s going to be FRIGGIN FIREWORKS.
Burnsy: Larkin deserves a ton of credit for righting the ship with back-to-back TKO wins after losing three straight. However, Einstein is as hot as they come right now, with four straight wins. I’ll take Einstein to keep the streak rolling into the Top 5 and the title conversation.
Heavyweight – Stipe Miocic vs Andrei “The Pitbull” Arlovski
Jessica: Arlovski takes this because I hate Miocic for the terrible and cruel things he did to Mark Hunt. Arlovski wins by second round TKO.
Burnsy: I’m loving Arlovski’s resurgence, especially since he was supposed to be an easy win for Travis Browne and beat the piss out of him instead. Beat Hapa and get my respect and love every time.
Welterweight Title – “Ruthless” Robbie Lawler vs Carlos “The Natural Born Killer” Condit
Jessica: THIS GON BE GOOD. Two dudes that frequently get covered in their opponents’ blood and seem to get more violent and angry as the fight goes on. Diesel engines of destruction, if you will. I’ll say Lawler takes this, because he is slightly more terrifying than Condit. Robert Glenn by god Lawler retains his title by fifth round TKO. The first four rows will be drenched in blood.
Burnsy: This fight makes me so happy, you guys. And yet I feel like the casual fan — the people who leaped from the Rousey Bandwagon and are hanging from the sides of the McGregor bandwagon right now — has no clue how this could already be the Fight of the Year. I’m picking Lawler because I want him to have a strong run as the champ and really build something bordering on legendary. More than anything, I want him to be as high as he can possibly be when Bigg Rigg gets his shit together and comes calling for his title.
Performance of the Night
Jessica: Brandao, Tumenov
Burnsy: Lawler, McDonald
Fight of the Night
Jessica: I won’t be greedy and say Lawler vs Condit, leaving it for Burnsy if he so desires. Instead, I’ll say that Poirier vs Duffy gets FotN honors.
Burnsy: Nah, I’ll go Larkin vs Tumenov. I don’t like picking the obvious one.