Wally The Green Monster Kidnapped (Update: He’s Fine, People Are Stupid)

Boston’s Fox 25 News has a pretty straight-forward story about someone waltzing into Fenway Park and leaving with the muppet shell that constitutes Wally The Green Monster, the Boston Red Sox mascot.

Boston police and Fenway Park security were searching for the “Wally the Green Monster” costume Friday.

Security told Boston police that someone put the costume on and walked out of the park. Wally was last seen heading toward Ipswich Street.(via Fox 25 News)

The Boston Herald, on the other hand, has gone out of their way to make the situation as much like a missing person report as possible. After reading it, I’m pretty sure Wally’s been kidnapped and is being housed in a warehouse somewhere with a gun to his head.

“It is Wally the Green Monster that has been stolen,” Officer Nicole Grant told the Herald.

A call came in for a larceny in progress at 2:22 p.m. from an address at the corner of Boylston and Dartmouth streets. The culprit was last seen in the area of Boylston and Fairfield streets, police report. Police have also checked the Common to see if Wally was taking a stroll through the park.

The Red Sox confirmed the costume is missing and police are searching the MBTA for Wally. A police helicopter has also joined the search as the hunt is on in the Hub for Wally. (via Boston Herald)

I’m not a fan of the Red Sox and I’ve never met Wally (surprising, especially if you know me), but I swear I will sit by this computer screen diligently throughout the weekend and update you with every bit of available information that surfaces about The Green Monster’s whereabouts. The mascot who shares a name with something Manny Ramirez used to pee in deserves better, dammit.


More on me punching the person responsible as it develops.


Our 40-ish minute national nightmare is over. Turns out a Fenway employee took the costume home and didn’t tell the right people.

At about 2:22pm, officers from District D-4 (South End) responded to a call at Dartmouth Street and Boylston Street.

Officers were advised that the Wally the Green (The Boston Red Sox) was stolen and last scene in the area of Boylston Street and Fairfield heading towards downtown.

It was later revealed to officers that an employee took the costume and neglected to inform the proper supervisor. There is no one under arrest and Wally the Green Monster is safe. (via BPD News)

Don’t let this happen again, Commissioner Selig.

[h/t to concerned citizen Joey]