04.07.10 8 years ago 5 Comments

A U.S. District Court judge has ruled that Epic Bust Charles Rogers must repay the Detroit Lions $6.1 million of the $9.1 million signing bonus he was paid by the team after he was selected as the number two overall pick in 2003. The judge determined that Rogers’ 2005 suspension of four games for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy was sufficient cause for the Lions to recoup at least a portion of the bonus.

Lions attorney Thomas Bruetsch wouldn’t comment on the decision and neither would the Lions. Rogers’ lawyer, Michael Cafferty, didn’t return calls.

Rogers argued that his contract with the Lions didn’t specify how the unearned portion of the bonus should be calculated. He said he owed $305,882 for the 4 weeks he was suspended.

The Lions said he owed the balance of the 7-year signing bonus from the date he failed to play or practice with the team. -Detroit Free-Press.

I wish the Lions the very best at getting back some of the money they squandered on the Michigan State star who played only 15 games and caught a paltry four touchdowns during his colossally miserable three years with the team (he was unceremoniously cut early in the 2006 season). Nevertheless, I highly doubt Rogers has any of that money left. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who has astutely managed his money. Collecting a sum of money like that from Rogers will be like squeezing blood from a turnip, or in a more apropos metaphor for Rogers, scraping that last bit of shake out of the bottom of a dugout. Not that I would know anything about that sort of nonsense.

Between all the dope smoking and legal fees incurred defending cases involving being so loaded he passed out in a Mexican restaurant (Ole!), Rogers probably couldn’t afford to buy a vowel. Yes, a Wheel of Fortune reference is still relevant and comical, and to be honest, kind of sexy. Have you seen Vanna White lately? She’s still smoking – just not in the way Rogers does it.

For that weak game show reference, after the jump is the phenomenally hilarious interview of Rogers by Jemele Hill from August of 2009. It’s magically weedlicious.

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