Jared Lorenzen Wants To Play In The New XFL As ‘He Ate Me’

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The XFL is back. Well, it will be back in 2020. That was the announcement made on Thursday afternoon by WWE chairman Vince McMahon.

The new XFL will be a very different version of a football league than the original that went defunct back in 2001 after its inaugural season. The original XFL glorified the violence of football and tried to, basically, be the Attitude Era for football fans. It failed spectacularly so there were plenty of skeptics when reports trickled out about the league’s return, but if things hold true to what McMahon said in his introductory announcement on Thursday, it will be very interesting to see how it plays out.

Before that announcement, the XFL already had some interest from one former Super Bowl champion quarterback (albeit, he was a backup, but that’s neither here nor there). Jared Lorenzen, aka the Hefty Lefty aka the Pillsbury Throwboy, took to Twitter to say he might be up for another comeback to the XFL and teased the nickname he’d pick for the back of his uniform.

Look, Lorenzen is 36 years old right now, meaning he’d be 38 by the time the XFL kicks off in 2020 so this isn’t likely, but “He Ate Me” is absolutely phenomenal. He Hate Me, aka Rod Smart, remains the most memorable thing about the XFL so I fully support a Jared Lorenzen renaissance in 2020 under the new moniker.