07.12.07 11 years ago 47 Comments

I don't want to alarm anyone living in or around the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area, but– RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! A BIG FAT LADY WANTS TO STEAL YOUR STEELERS JERSEYS!

A white woman, described as about 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighing between 180 and 200 pounds, was first observed July 2 on security video at the JCPenney store at the mall in Hempfield. The camera caught her placing almost two dozen game jerseys in a large bag and leaving the store without paying, according to state police at Greensburg.

The stolen jerseys were valued at $1,650.

Police said the incident was captured on video and remains under investigation. Here's to hoping that surveillance camera was shot in widescreen. -Skeet Skeet Skeet

(Thanks to Winning The Turnover Battle for helping me become a better human being.)

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