BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE. Today, Ben Schwartz, the actor who portrays one of TV’s greatest recurring characters, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein from Parks and Recreation, turns 32, which is also the number of Snakejuice shots it takes before anyone would think about coming home with Jean-Ralphio. In honor of Schwartz, who also stars on Showtime’s House of Pies and will soon appear in Better Living Through Chemistry with Olivia Wilde AND Sam Rockwell, let’s take a look at some life lessons Jean-Ralphio has shared with us.
1. Be committed.
2. Earn that cash any way you can.
3. Scheme your way out of responsibilities.
4. Life is pain.
5. Find your passions and embrace them.
6. Always work a little bit harder than you have to.
7. Exploit the youth.
8. Inspiration comes from the least expected of sources.
9. Your bed is whatever you want it to be.
10. Give everyone in your life a nickname.
11. MAKE IT RAIN.
12. Contradict yourself.
13. Don’t worry, be happy.
14. Regret nothing.
15. Never doubt your ability to make people cry over a horse.