All The Bad Things That Happened Because Of Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape

10.21.14 5 years ago 21 Comments
In February 2007, a sex tape that Kim Kardashian made with Ray J “leaked” online. Eight months later, Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiered on E! Before the world saw Kim Kardashian: Superstar, Kim was probably best known as O.J. Simpson’s goddaughter, not a “f*cking idiot” (we’ll get to that) who built an entire vapid empire that’s worth $65 million. Great business person; terrible actual person. But what if the sex tape never came out and Kim didn’t became one of the most recognizable celebrities on the planet? Then these 34 (in honor of her birthday) no-good things might never have happened.

1. Nine seasons and counting of Keeping Up with the Kardashians

2. Three seasons of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami

3. Two seasons of Khloé & Lamar

4. Two seasons of Kourtney and Kim Take New York

5. Sixteen episodes of Kris

6. Any seasons of For the Love of Ray J

7. “Jam (Turn It Up)”

8. “I Hit It First”

9. “Jay Leno’s guests are Dane Cook and Kim Kardashian”

10. Not that Aurora…

11. “Catch Kim Kardashian in Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer’s Disaster Movie!”

12. Jon Hamm wouldn’t need to waste his breathe and call Kim a “f*cking idiot.”

13. Kim Kardashian’s Va-Va-Vanilla Cupcake Mix

14. Rumors linking her to Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez (sadly not at the same time)

15. A woman spending $30,000 on plastic surgery to look like Kim

16. Kris Humphries being a household name for 72 days.

17. Everything about these sentences: “[Kim and Kris] were paid almost $18 million to get married. $15M for E! to televise it, $2.5M for exclusive photo rights to People Magazine, $300K for exclusive engagement announcement to People, $100K for bridal shower to OK!, and $50K for the bachelorette party in Las Vegas. Then you figure in the freebies: $400K of Perrier Jouet Champagne, three $20K Vera Wang gowns, a $15K wedding cake, $10K in lavish invitations, and more — all free.”

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