Happy Hundred, Dickwads: One Life Lesson From Every ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ Episode

Senior Pop Culture Editor
10.09.13 16 Comments
Somehow, someway, this little comedy about a group of lovable assholes who own a bar in Philadelphia will air its 100th episode tonight. Yes, after “The Gang Saves the Day,” we’ll have spent more than 50 hours with the Gang of FXX’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and unlike most shows that reach the 100-episode milestone, there are no signs of it creatively slowing down. I think “The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award” proved that.

In honor of one hundred schemes, one hundred arguments, one hundred instances of emotional trauma, I took a look back at every episode of It’s Always Sunny, to see what kind of lessons can be learned from Dennis, Dee, Mac, Charlie, and Frank. There’s a whole lot of depravity. Sweet, beautiful depravity.

“The Gang Gets Racist” — There is nothing less interesting than other people’s dreams.

“Charlie Wants an Abortion” — Ask the big questions.

“Underage Drinking: A National Concern” — Relive your high school days as an adult.

“Charlie Has Cancer” — Never sneak up behind a friend or stranger, or else.

“Gun Fever” — Make good decisions at night so you can walk proudly in the morning.

“The Gang Finds a Dead Guy” — Poking a body with a stick is the only way to see if its dead or not.

“Charlie Got Molested” — Brothers can be uncomfortably close.

“Charlie Gets Crippled” — Playing the “Vietnam War Card” works in strip clubs.

“The Gang Goes Jihad” — Do not throw truth bombs back at the truth bombers.

“Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare” — Welfare is the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

“Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom” — When you need to act menacing, turn off the lights, except for one lamp.

“Hundred Dollar Baby” — Steroids will turn you into a lovely person.

“The Gang Gives Back” — Red Bulls are better hydration than water.

“The Gang Exploits a Miracle” — We’re all gay for God.

“The Gang Runs for Office” – Only low life pieces of sh*t get involved in politics.

“Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass” — America: f*ck yeah.

“Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad” — Shooting a guy in the face > being his friend.

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