In honor of one hundred schemes, one hundred arguments, one hundred instances of emotional trauma, I took a look back at every episode of It’s Always Sunny, to see what kind of lessons can be learned from Dennis, Dee, Mac, Charlie, and Frank. There’s a whole lot of depravity. Sweet, beautiful depravity.
“The Gang Gets Racist” — There is nothing less interesting than other people’s dreams.
“Charlie Wants an Abortion” — Ask the big questions.
“Underage Drinking: A National Concern” — Relive your high school days as an adult.
“Charlie Has Cancer” — Never sneak up behind a friend or stranger, or else.
“Gun Fever” — Make good decisions at night so you can walk proudly in the morning.
“The Gang Finds a Dead Guy” — Poking a body with a stick is the only way to see if its dead or not.
“Charlie Got Molested” — Brothers can be uncomfortably close.
“Charlie Gets Crippled” — Playing the “Vietnam War Card” works in strip clubs.
“The Gang Goes Jihad” — Do not throw truth bombs back at the truth bombers.
“Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare” — Welfare is the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
“Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom” — When you need to act menacing, turn off the lights, except for one lamp.
“Hundred Dollar Baby” — Steroids will turn you into a lovely person.
“The Gang Gives Back” — Red Bulls are better hydration than water.
“The Gang Exploits a Miracle” — We’re all gay for God.
“The Gang Runs for Office” – Only low life pieces of sh*t get involved in politics.
“Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass” — America: f*ck yeah.
“Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad” — Shooting a guy in the face > being his friend.