Bimbo The Birthday Clown’s Birthday Song Is Grade-A Nightmare Fuel

A funny thing happened yesterday. After I posted my very timely review of the 1979 pilot episode of the Canadian television show The Littlest Hobo, people from Canada started directing me to lots of other strange, cheesy programming they grew up with. I now know that Canada is, or maybe was, a truly magical place. How else can you explain the opening credits for Seeing Things, starring the guy from the infamous Scanners exploding head GIF? You can’t, that’s how. Man cannot create something so perfect. Ipso facto, it must have been sorcery.

I also received the clip I posted above, which features a character named “Bimbo the Birthday Clown” from The Uncle Bobby Show. Bimbo rolls out from backstage at around the 0:40 mark to sing his birthday song and OH GOD WHY IS HIS VOICE HIGH-PITCHED AND DEEP AT THE SAME TIME? IS HE A DEMON? AND WHY ARE HIS EARS WIGGLING? AND WHAT THE HELL ARE HIS EYES DOING? OH GOD. OH NO. WHAT CHILD COULD POSSIBLY WANT THIS ON HIS OR HER BIRTHDAY? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN? SOMEONE SHOOT IT BEFORE IT TRIES TO SING AGAIN. HURRY.

(via @MrButterChicken)