Bismarck Anchor Opens The Nightly News With Double-Barrel Profanity

How is your evening going? Good? Well, that’s wonderful. Happy to hear it.

You know whose night isn’t going so well, though? First-time KFYR news anchor A.J. Clemente, who opened up tonight’s broadcast in Bismarck by saying “F*ckin sh*t” straight into his live microphone like he’s some hip rock star like Axl Rose or Rod Stewart. (These are hip rock stars, yes?)

Anyway, as is to be expected here in 2013, the clip has spread around the web like loin vermin at a key party, and the station has apparently been flooded with complaints. News director Monica Hannan posted this response on the station’s Facebook page.

To all of you who are writing in…I want to apologize for an incident that occurred prior to our early newscast this evening, when one of our employees used profanity on the air.

He did not realize his microphone was on, but still, that’s no excuse. WE train our reporters to always assume that any microphone is live at any time. Unfortunately, that was not enough in this case. WE can’t take back what was said. The person involved has been suspended until we resolve the situation. All we can do at this point is ask for your forgiveness, and I can offer my personal assurance that I will do my best to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again under my watch.

Monica Hannan, KFYR-TV News Director

Let me be perfectly clear about this so there is no confusion: DO NOT FIRE THIS MAN. I LOVE HIM. IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT. I WILL MAKE POSTERS AND EVERYTHING.

And A.J., if you’re reading this, keep f*ckin’ that chicken, buddy. We’ll get through this. I promise.

(via @ScottSchroeder)