'Boardwalk Empire': Just the Badass Parts

09.20.10 8 years ago 27 Comments

If you missed the Scorsese-directed series premiere of “Boardwalk Empire” last night, that’s okay because I’ve got all the badass parts right here. No need to follow the story lines or remember the characters’ names, just enjoy the sex and carnage and old-timey ass-kicking. A partial list of badassery from the premiere:

  • STEVE BUSCEMI SEX SCENE (note: actually some excellent nudity. Not by Buscemi.)
  • Midget boxing!
  • The phrase “wet as a mermaid’s twat.”
  • Henry Ford’s intellectual musings:

  • Roadside liquor heist.
  • Quintuple murder during a roadside liquor heist.
  • A head exploding from a point-blank shotgun blast during the quintuple murder roadside liquor heist.
  • Pregnant woman beaten in front of her children.
  • Casino owner/public official slams wifebeater’s head into blackjack table.
  • Pregnant woman beaten again; loses baby.
  • Dead wifebeater turns up in fishing net.
  • BONUS brains-on-wall execution:
  • And finally, intolerance for cultural illiteracy (click to enlarge):

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