Breaking News: Snow Dongs Threaten Midwestern Town’s Morals

12.29.10 7 years ago 23 Comments

Ah, local news. Where would we be without you? Thanks to WLFI in Lafayette, Indiana, we now know about the moral plague that threatened a neighborhood: snow penises, crafted by local hoodlums who are probably minions of Satan himself.

Neighbors along North 7th Street in Lafayette said two sculptures of male genitals were simply “disgusting.” The sculptures have since been torn down, but the controversial issue still serves as a reminder that obscene sculptures do violate state law…
The sculptures’ creators declined to comment, but still had plenty of middle fingered hand gestures to show a News Channel 18 camera from across the street.
“I think it’s disgusting. I have a two-year-old. Like, right now, he doesn’t even know what that is. It’s just not even… People shouldn’t do that. It’s very irresponsible,” said Ghina Robinson, who also lives across the street. Robinson said her neighbors began building the sculptures Tuesday night, but she didn’t notice what they actually were until Wednesday morning. She’s more upset with how Lafayette police responded. “They showed up, laughed and drove off,” said Robinson. [WLFI via BuzzFeed]

The best part of this video is all the pixelated shots of the offending snow penii. If there’s anything funnier than illicit snow sculptures, it’s censoring them to protect viewers who could be offended if faced with the likeness of genitalia crafted from snow. THINK OF THE CHILDREN! THEY’VE STOLEN THE INNOCENCE OF WINTER!
To illustrate this point, I Googled “snowman sex” — one of my daily habits, of course — and found all sorts of disgusting snow filth, which I’ve kindly censored for any Warming Glow readers in Lafayette.

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