05.12.09 9 years ago 5 Comments

A performance fartist using the pseudonym “Mr. Methane” didn’t fare well on “Britain’s Got Talent,” where his musical flatulence was too avant-garde for the Philistines in the audience and the judges’ chairs to understand.  Yes, your eyes and ears do not deceive you: this REALLY IS a 42-year-old man in a mask and cape farting into a microphone along to Strauss’s “Blue Danube Waltz.”

I can’t help but be humbled by Mr. Methane.  You see, everything I write on this blog is essentially just farting into a microphone, but I get to do it in the privacy of my own home.  Usually in my underwear.  He does it in front of a disgusted audience and handles their scorn like it’s a friendly wave.  That takes titanium balls.  Kudos to you, sir.  This fart noise is for you.

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