After what feels like eons of retooling and money-pit construction, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are finally on the cusp of their Casa Bonita grand reopening near Denver, Colorado. Let the sopapillas begin, not to mention the “eatertainment” that was always the biggest draw, back in the day. However, Stone and Parker (operating under their “The Beautiful Opco, LLC” umbrella) did recruit renowned chef Dana “Loco” Rodriguez in a quest to bring actual “good food” to the table, and May 2023 has been set as target opening month.
Before that happens — and before people can relive Cartman acting like an ass amid the spectacle, as he did in South Park Season 7 — the dynamic duo needs to fully staff up. Granted, the pair maintained existing payroll in the meantime while providing bilingual classes to front-and-back end workers, who also volunteered at organizations like Habitat for Humanity. So what positions, exactly, do Parker and Stone need to fill?
Well, only about 550 spots, including servers, bartenders, and overall entertainers, along with the nostalgia-driving, all-important cliff divers. Those volcanos can’t stand alone, man. As local news station KDVR reports, not everyone can fit this bill. The physical and mental qualifications are substantial. Here’s a sampling of cliff-diver duties:
Creating a magical experience through interactions with roughly 1,500 guests, aged 2-100 a day, with an upbeat and pleasant attitude
Diving from platform heights of 16-25 feet
Consistently perform the following dives from 16 feet: Front (half, twist, pike, flip); back (half, twist, flip,); inward dive (tuck/pike/straight) – include them in your video clips for audition
Being in character for 3-6 consecutive hours at a time (with appropriate breaks).
Performing shows on time and being in place for all cues.
Meeting and interacting with guests at the guest meet and greet locations.
Speaking loudly, articulately and clearly to roughly 1,500 guests.
Meeting guests from ages 2-100 and conversing age-appropriately in character
Wearing company-approved costuming created for performer
Memorizing scripts, learning cues, and associated activities
Staged stunts, staged romance, or choreographed combat
Light improv and approved character interactions
That’s only the beginning (you can read more here). Rest assured that Casa Bonita’s new owners do mention that cliff divers will be provided with health insurance along with up to $25 per hour, which isn’t too shabby for a going rate in the Denver area. All candidates must provide five-minute clips of their various diving stunts to date, and auditions will be in order. You know, May isn’t too far away.