Chris Pratt Got Absolutely Shredded For ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ Only To Immediately Get Fat Again

I would normally bury this ripped Chris Pratt mirror shot as “a little something for the ladies” to click through to, but it turns out that the story of how Burt MacKlin’s alter ego got in shape for his role as a Seal Team Six member in Zero Dark Thirty and then immediately gained sixty pounds for another role isn’t even the most interesting/amusing anecdote from his visit to Conan.

Instead, real life Andy Dwyer follows up with the story of how he spent two years selling coupons door to door for a quasi ponzi scheme and I’ve never been more glued to a screen. The whole thing is then capped off by a baby hip hop exercise video which seriously puts this visit in the running for best Conan interview EVER.

But first, now that we’ve seen the before (which took him approximately 5-6 months to accomplish), now let’s take a look at the after…

“I’ve always been a little soft. I like to eat. Crunches, I’m not going to do.” – Chris Pratt, hero.

OK, full video of the weight gain/Zero Dark Thirty chat two below, because I can’t wait any longer to get to Chris Pratt reminiscing about his days selling coupons, driving idiots around in a van, and taking out classified ads like, “Do you like Rock & Roll music? Do you want to make money? Call me.” Seriously, this is pretty much perfect.

Did you stick around for Baby Zumba? No? WTF were you thinking? Go back to the 4:14 mark immediately. The rest of you can move forward to a story of personal redemption through sixty pound weight gain…

Moral of the story: Chris Pratt is the best. No one can now deny this. Bonus image from Reddit explaining why you won’t be able to take Zero Dark Thirty seriously:

The end.

Team Coco