Tuesday’s entertainment news cycle was dominated by People‘s pronouncement that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was their 2016 Sexiest Man Alive. To be fair, the day’s news was also rife with plenty of speculation about whether or not President-elect Donald Trump’s transition team was descending into chaos, so comedian Conan O’Brien decided to combine the two into a humorous concession speech. No, he didn’t get People‘s annual honor yet again, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean he won’t try again for 2017!
“It’s over, they’ve decided, and it’s time to move on,” O’Brien joked. “Of course, as part of a time-honored tradition, there is something I must now do.”
Cue the camera’s cut to a faux press conference held at the comedian’s “election night headquarters,” where he, co-host Andy Richter and a few Conan interns “who agreed to stand behind [him] and look sad” addressed the nation:
“I’m proud of the campaign I ran, but I can’t shake the feeling that this whole system was rigged against me. Especially after WikiLeaks released this unsexy photo of me eating very hot soup. That did not help. Could have cost me the election, but I am not going to stop fighting. I promise 2017 will be my sexiest year yet. Tighter pants, various elective surgeries, and I’m going to start buying top-shelf cologne instead of making my own. Can we do it? Sex we can!”
Johnson took the challenge in stride, re-tweeting a video of O’Brien’s speech while saying “I still luv you ‘Consie'”:
But hey, at least the runner-up for 2016 Sexiest Man Alive gifted the country with the greatest Zoolander-like GIF since Zoolander: