David Schwimmer, Crimefighter, Helps NYC Police Solve Prostitute Stabbing Case

News & Culture Writer
05.27.14 13 Comments
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David Schwimmer might finally be less hated in his East Village neighborhood, in which he famously tore down a historic row home to build a celebrity assh*le mansion, after he helped NYC authorities solve a crime over the holiday weekend involving a prostitute and knife fight.

Cops only had a he-said, he-said account of what happened until they noticed that Schwimmer’s security cameras were pointed in the direction of where the altercation went down. Detective David Schwimmer is on the case!

According to the NY Post:

The brawl had broken out at around 5:40 a.m. in a first-floor apartment in a building on East Sixth Street that adjoins the actor’s home. It spilled into the hallway before the men smashed through a glass lobby door.

Afterward, a 26-year-old john was taken to Bellevue Hospital with stab wounds to the face. His transvestite prostitute ran off, and a third combatant was arrested.

Robert Rainey, 21, of Newark was charged with assault, criminal possession of a weapon and robbery, the sources said. Witnesses heard the older man shout, “He sliced me up!”

I have no idea what David Schwimmer is even up to these days, so it sounds like crimefighter would be as good a transition as any. Does he still have that monkey? Because David Schwimmer, crimefighter, with a monkey sidekick would be totally +1, is all I’m saying.

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