Let Brian And Stewie Show You How To Maximize Your Friendship


Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts but just like everything else worthwhile, it takes work. Sure, you may have bonded with someone over your mutual love of Stranger Things, night cheese, and your strong opinions on Jimmy Fallon, but building a lasting friendship requires more than just sharing the same likes and dislikes. The strongest friendships are built on foundations of trust, mutual respect, and, of course, love. Family Guy is already clued into this with Brian and Stewie, who have one of the best relationship dynamics on the show and one of the most enduring friendships on TV.

Sure, they may occasionally try to kill each other, but when things get real, they’re always there for each other. Over the course of the show, Brian and Stewie have built a solid, enduring friendship (despite Stewie’s many sexual advances and repeated verbal abuse). They’ve provided for us a model of true friendship and a guide for how to take your own to the next level.

Hold Each Other Accountable
Being a good friend is about more than going on adventures and indulging in the shared mockery of everyone else in your circle — you gotta be there and you gotta be proactive. Does that mean you should beat the living hell out of your friend with a towel bar when they’re a little slow in paying you back the money you lent them like Stewie does with Brian in the season four episode, “Patriot Games” before dunking his head in the toilet? That might be considered extreme, but at least Stewie let Brian know that he had an obligation to fulfill. The same thing goes for Stewie’s constant shots at Brian over the progress of his novel — it likely hurts (not punch to the face hurts), but it also reminds Brian that he needs to stop dragging his feet.


Be A Shoulder To Cry On
The freedom to be vulnerable is key in any solid friendship. Crying is cathartic but ugly crying in front of your best friend while unloading all of your sh*t on them is the best (and cheapest) form of therapy.

Sure, Brian and Stewie rarely show any meaningful form of emotion, but when they do, it’s big and it’s usually met with acceptance and understanding from the other. Like in the season eight episode, “Jerome Is The New Black,” when Brian returns home from a dinner with Quagmire in tears after being labeled a “big, sad, alcoholic bore” following a lengthy and spirited takedown that hits on all of his flaws. Stewie not only comforts his best friend, he also reminds him that his self-worth shouldn’t be defined by the brainless perverts of the world and offers up his room for the night. Being someone’s cheerleader while also letting them invade your personal space is the mark of a true friend.

Take A Bullet For Each Other
When most people say “I’d take a bullet for you,” you know they’re just being dramatic. When your best friend says it, you know they’re being real AF. Being willing to both physically and metaphorically take a bullet for another person signals a deep level of trust and affection, something all lasting friendships need.

When Brian and Stewie decided to enter the Army in the season five episode, “Saving Private Brian,” neither one anticipated how dangerous military life would be. The pair tried to get out of their service, first by pretending to be gay (it was a different time) and later, by literally shooting each other in the foot. What says friendship like being willing to not only endure intense physical pain but also dish it out to another in the name of skirting your duty to your country?

Embrace The Saying ‘What’s Mine Is Yours’

Good friendships have no boundaries. Conversations about bowel movements, weird sexual encounters, that odd shaped mole you’ve been meaning to get checked out, and anything and everything else is on the table when it comes to your best friend. Having no boundaries also means having to give up ownership rights of some aspects of your life.

If your friend shows up at your apartment unannounced at three in the morning, inebriated, crying, and threatening to drunk text their ex, you’re obligated to sacrifice valuable sleep and give them sanctuary. When your friend decides to move in with their significant other without having the means to pay their share of the rent, you move in with them and shell out your paper route money to make that relationship work, like Stewie did for Brian in the season six episode, “Movin’ Out (Brian’s Song).” Sure, the two discovered that living as a threesome wasn’t healthy and that Stewie has trouble sleeping by himself, but they were willing to brave sharing quarters in order to keep Brian from losing his girlfriend. If that’s not bromantic, I don’t know what is.

Stick Together

Again, this rule can manifest itself physically or metaphorically. Figuratively speaking, a best friend should always be there, ready to bail you out of jail, lie to your parents about your whereabouts, ditch work to binge a new series on Netflix, or dig a six-foot hole in the woods with no questions asked. Physically, they should be willing to superglue your hands together and spend an entire day at a bulk department store like Stewie and Brian did in the season three episode, “Stuck Together, Torn Apart.”

The pair not only slept together, bathed together and changed Stewie’s diaper, they also ended up saving the life of a little girl who fell down a well. Teamwork makes the dream work and being able to save a life and dispose of baby feces while literally stuck to your best friend like glue is the definition of teamwork.


Always Remember Friendship Is The Truest Form Of Love
It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of a new romance but a true friend knows how to weather the storm. When Stewie begins dating a little girl named Penelope in the season ten episode, “Mr. And Mrs. Stewie,” the two discover they share a love of weaponry and a desire to take over the world. Brian becomes the voice of reason his friend needs, pointing out that Penelope is a bad influence.

When Penelope charges Stewie with assassinating Brian, he (eventually) refuses, battling his girlfriend to save his best friend’s life proving that no relationship, no matter how addicting, toxic, or downright dangerous it may be, is worth the price of a lost friendship. (Or the price of a life. If your significant other is trying to convince you to kill people, please, go to the police.)

Live By The Drake Motto
If we’ve learned one thing from Aubrey Graham over the years it’s that the Canadian rapper known as Drake is opposed to making new friends. In fact, Drake’s motto “No New Friends” often pops up in the lyrics of his biggest hits. And it’s a lesson Stewie learned when Brian passed away after being hit by a car in the season 12 episode, “Life Of Brian.”

A month after the family says goodbye, Lois decides to get a new dog, a smooth-talking canine named Vinny. Stewie makes his distaste for Brian’s replacement quite clear and goes out of his way to make Vinny feel unwelcomed in the Griffin home. Lesson to be learned: friendship extends beyond death.

Go On Weird Adventures Together
They say the best way to get to know someone is to live with them, but Stewie and Brian have been doing that for years. In truth, the best way to get to know someone is to go on crazy adventures together, adventures that may involve traveling to alternate universes, a plane crash or two, and hijacking camels in the Middle East. What kind of adventures will you go in with your friend when you want to strenghten your bond?

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