Happy Birthday to Me: TNT Orders Pilot About Crime-Solving Dog

Hello, and welcome to a watershed day in television history. TNT has ordered a pilot about a CRIME-SOLVING GOLDEN RETRIEVER. I’ve been waiting for this day my entire life.

The network has ordered a pilot for an adaptation of the Susannah Charleson book “Scent of the Missing,” about her experience with Puzzle, a dog with a strong aptitude for rescue missions. The pilot’s log line says of the show, “An adrenaline junkie leader of a canine search-and-rescue team assists various law enforcement agencies with her best friend and partner, a golden retriever.” [The Wrap]

Finally, a worthy successor to “Poochinski”! And TNT is the absolute PERFECT home for this show. Because 95% of TNT’s programming is cop procedurals, it’s awash in all the tired stereotypes that bore me on most shows but would enthrall me if the show’s about a dog.

HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE interrogates a suspect. PUZZLE paces in the background, pausing occasionally to lick his balls.
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE: Tell me where McNally is! Trust me, I’m the nice one. My partner ain’t gonna be so gentle.
PUZZLE: *growls*
SUSPECT: Screw you, pig!
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE: Well, I warned ya. Puzzle! This guy won’t talk.
PUZZLE: *bites SUSPECT in crotch*
SUSPECT: Oh God! I’ll talk, I’ll talk!
HARDBITTEN DETECTIVE: Good boy! *gives PUZZLE treat*

In short, I’ll be devastated if this doesn’t become a long-running series. Here, I’ll get the casting process started:

(Just because.)

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