‘Parks And Rec’ Writer Harris Wittels Will Not Hesitate To Call You A C*nt

08.20.13 5 years ago 34 Comments

harris wittels

Gawker Media recently re-launched Defamer, the Hollywood gossip site it shut down a few years ago, and announced today that the site’s editor will be Beejoli Shah, the girl famous for letting Quentin Tarantino suck her toes while he jerked off, naturally.

Anyway, the site appears to be back in fine form, pissing off Hollywood types by publishing anonymous tips just like it did in its good old days. This time it’s Parks and Recreation scribe/Humblebrag inventor Harris Wittels who’s pissed off about something written on the site by an anonymous author, namely that he wrote a “subpar script” for a pilot that was to star “Kevin” from The Office. This did not set well with Wittels, prompting him to write an email to Defamer, an email that reads, in part…

Don’t write about sh*t you have no idea about. Universal never once
mentioned me having a supervisor this pilot season. I love Ali, she is
a friend of mine, we have wanted to work together for awhile now, so I
asked her if she wanted to be a part of this new idea I had. She said
yes. Then I asked Uni if she could hop on board and they said yes.
They didn’t hire her to chaperone me. That is absurdly untrue.

I know it’s your “job” to talk sh*t all day (great work by the way.
really great stuff all around). But if you’re going to try to f*ck
with a dude’s career, get the facts straight at least. Don’t jump to
conclusions. And especially don’t be anonymous. You must know that
there is no greater offense than anonymous attacks. It’s the coward’s

Now then, you may get back to jacking off in between sipping lattes
and reporting on wynona ryder’s new dog or miley cyrus’s tits or
whatever the sh*t you guys claim is journalism.

harris wittels

Wittels later discovered that the person who wrote the post that sparked his ire was actually the aforementioned Tarantino toe babe/editor Beejoli Shah, he began taunting her a bit on Twitter.

Screen shot 2013-08-20 at 2.35.11 PM

Wittels and Shah then exchanged emails, with Wittels dropping the dreaded C-word again on her…

Enjoy the rest of your day and stepping on people to climb the ladder. That always ends really well for people. Never comes back to bite them in the ass. You will have a very successful career filled with people who like you
You’re a cunt,

When Shah’s boss, AJ Daulerio, stepped in and emailed Wittels after he called he repeatedly referred to her as a “c*nt,” Wittels responded thusly…

Oh okay well lets see, I guess my intention of calling her a c*nt was to call her a c*nt (because she is you see) Then when I asked her why she did it, I guess I wanted to know why she did it. It’s all pretty self-explanatory. In closing: You are all trash. Your parents are ashamed of your careers and the cocaine-huffing gossip monsters you’ve become. You pick petty fights for a living. And you feed on people who actually contribute things to society. Please get hit by a bus. And buy the Humblebrag book on Amazon. C*nt c*nt can’t who gives a shit about any of this c*nt c*nt, Harris.

I feel like I need a shower now. And to think that all this started over the insinuation that Wittels wrote a “subpar script.” It’s good that he doesn’t write for a website for a living — a run-of-the-mill comment thread would probably make his head explode.

(Pic via Harris Wittels’ Twitter)

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