Jockey Offered Jon Hamm Free Underpants For Life

Jon Hamm would really like everyone to stop talking about his penis. Unfortunately, the story is becoming much harder to ignore as it grows and grows. Everyone’s seen it by now. The story, I mean. Everyone’s seen the story. It’s just out there flopping around in the breeze, drawing attention to itself, making other, smaller stories shrivel up out of embarrassment or fear. It’s ridiculous how huge this story is. Hell, I’m surprised he hasn’t developed back problems lugging the damn thing around. On his shoulders. You know, like the weight of the whole thing. The story.

Luckily, underwear giant Jockey has offered to support him and help get this giant dangling story under control, tweeting the following a few days ago:

I really hope Jon Hamm takes them up on their offer. If he’s not careful, this story could poke someone’s eye out.