'SNL' Recap: Say Goodbye to Kristen Wiig, Say Hello to Mick Jagger

That’s the right British rock band from the 1960s, right?

When you’ve become a parody of yourself, it’s easy to parody yourself. That’s the lesson I got from last night’s Mick Jagger-hosted “SNL,” which had the Rolling Stones frontman making fun of his (and every musician’s) “I can’t hear you” shtick and watching an increasingly awful succession of people trying to impersonate his stage moves. He was clearly game for anything, like playing Charles Nelson Reilly on “Secret Word,” but like we’ve all said roughly 4,639 times this season, the writing just wasn’t up to the level of the enthusiasm of the host. (Even “Lazy Sunday” wasn’t as good this time ’round.) Oh well, at least there was Stefon.

As for the final sketch, which had the entire cast and guests, including Amy Poehler, Jon Hamm, Arcade Fire, the Foo Fighters, Chris Kattan, and Rachel Dratch, singing “She’s a Rainbow” and “Ruby Tuesday”: it’s obvious Kristen Wiig is leaving — but what about Jason Sudeikis and Andy Samberg? They were the final two to say goodbye to Wiig, and Sudeikis was visibly distraught, but they didn’t get the same kind of send-off. The show wouldn’t be the same without them, but considering how stale things were for the final few episodes of the season, maybe it’s time for a shake-up. MORE NASIM AND TARAN NEXT SEASON, PLEASE.

I like everything about “The Lawrence Welk Show,” except for Judy, which I guess is like liking everything about a song, except for the chorus. That being said, knowing this was Wiig’s last episode, I’m glad that hideous, little-handed freak finally found love with Jon Hamm’s Italian crooner and his cannoli. (And hey, Kate McKinnon sighting!)

Gotta respect that jacket.

Decent enough, though now I know why the Stones don’t record ballads anymore, but I wish “So You Think You Can Dance At An Outdoor Music Festival” was online. The sketch wasn’t as good as it could have been (it should have stayed on the contestants longer — we demand more Spliff Sanders!), but the premise was brilliant. Plus, Bill Hader as Dave Matthews: “Remember me from college?”

Here are the lyrics via:

Lazy Sunday

Slept right through my alarm

Activate Siri and say

“Call Parn”

Who dis?

It’s me, man

Yo Samberg, kick facts

Tonight is the night


Sister Act

The show’s not ’til later

Let’s merc some brunch

I know a cute French place

Meet me outside Crunch

My core is ripped

That workout was trill

Man I can almost taste

those mimosas for real

They’re makin’ changes at three

We’d better start jammin’

I love that brunch

more than McAdams loves Channing

Dub step

Two fifty-nine

Made it on a technicality

Eggs benedict

No yolk

Less calories

The plating is cray

I detect sage butter

How you wanna pay Chris?

Go Dutch, motherfucker

Go to Sister Act

Like a pistol whack

Buck wild in the streets

Off a sixer pack

We go to Sister Act

Like we got racks on racks

‘Cause once you buy ‘em

You can’t give your tickets back

Yo, hold up, hold up

Hey, yo, Chris, we’re gonna have to hit ‘em with some new mish for 2012, my dude

So why don’t you drop it on ‘em like right now?

Allow me to reintroduce myself

My name is Parns

P to A-arns

Stupid bargains

up at all the Pottery Barns

Young Sandwich and I came to catch reck

Still waitin’ on a fucking YouTube check

Don’t mess with Magnolia ’cause the line’s too long

Plus it bumps with my clip

Now back to the song

Yo, peep the marquee

They some funny ass nuns

We got ninety-nine problems

But this sitch ain’t one

Sneak in the flask

Filled with sweet Vermouth

We take more shots in the theater

Than John Wilkes Booth

Flip up binocs

‘Cause we’re cultural mavens

Like dem and we scream out

That’s so Raven

Go to Sister Act

Like a pistol whack

All up in the theater

Like aristocrats

We gonna Sister Act

Like we got racks on racks

‘Cause once you buy ‘em

You can’t give your tickets back

On these New York streets

I honed my fake rap penmanship

That’s how it began

And that’s how I’m a finish it

Two favorite lines:

-“…a woman with nowhere to turn.”

-“Evil celebrity chef Wario Batali, he’s just like his brother but doesn’t wear Crocs.

Here’s my mock-up:

Should have stayed a one-off. Kristen stole her speech patterns from Casey Wilson on “Happy Endings,” too.

I love Arcade Fire, and I’m quite happy they didn’t mangle “The Last Time.”

And, well, this was great, too. A little long, but still: great.

They should have done another sketch instead of this muddled blues mess.


I guess that last one doesn’t fit the situation. See you next season.