[WARNING: spoilers for episode eight of Succession, “Chiantishire”]
Ahead of tonight’s episode of Succession, the New Yorker published a profile of actor Jeremy Strong, who plays Kendall Roy on the HBO series. It’s a must read. An excerpt: “For a while, he lived in the Hollywood Hills, where, driving home on Sunset Boulevard, he would pass a billboard that read ‘what the shrek just happened?’ He was thirty-one and asking himself the same question.” And here’s Brian Cox (Logan Roy) talking about his on-screen son: “I just worry about what he does to himself. I worry about the crises he puts himself through in order to prepare.”
To quote Courtney Love, that’s some Kendall Roy sh*t.
It was canny timing on the part of the New Yorker to release a profile about Strong’s intense “process” before “Chiantishire” aired, because hoo boy, Kendall goes through it this week. He gets uninvited to his mom’s wedding (but it’s fine, it’s only for four hours); his dad makes Kendall’s son take a bite of his food before him to test if it’s been poisoned; he’s shaved his head; and in the final seconds of the episode, he drops his beer into the pool where he’s stomach down on a float, and puts his face under water. He doesn’t drown (probably?), but things aren’t looking great for ol’ Ken.
This is not a happy man:
Also, his brother Roman sent a photo of his dick to his dad. Oops.
No wonder Succession fans are losing their sh*t over the episode.
ROMAN OH FUCKING NOOOO #SuccessionHBO
— sarah (@theawkwardcap) December 6, 2021
Everyone: THE BIG SHOCKER THIS EPISODE IS THAT KENDALL DIES
The actual episode: What if Roman sent a picture of his dick to Logan and exposed his relationship with Gerri inadvertently
— Bene Gesserit Girlboss (@shelbyboring) December 6, 2021
Roman actually sent his dad a dick pick. HOLY SHIT!!! #Succession
— Wirjil (@Wirjil) December 6, 2021
A masterpiece pic.twitter.com/dMl6uoRKJg
— Esther Zuckerman (@ezwrites) December 6, 2021
actual footage of me watching succession pic.twitter.com/HWqL6EYFtJ
— beth (@tenducloseplie) December 6, 2021
This Succession episode is fucking insane pic.twitter.com/SPXYHgnAWN
— 🌸 (@piecrustcollar) December 6, 2021
if Jeremy Strong still doesn’t think #Succession is a comedy after Roman sent Logan a dick pic then he can’t be helped
— annie (@nniegarcia) December 6, 2021
Speaking of Strong:
CLEAR THE SEARCHES
KENDALL ROY SLEEPING
KENDALL ROY NAPPING
KENDALL ROY RELAXED
KENDALL ROY CHILLING
— gwen (@shivdeckers) December 6, 2021
— willa (@buzzcutian) December 6, 2021
WAS ABOUT TO TWEET THAT BLUE CHECK MARK TWITTER WAS BEING DRAMATIC ABOUT THIS EPISODE AND THEN KENDALL AT THE END?????)£??!!
— izzy (@spidermannwh) December 6, 2021
I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS KENDALL CANT FUCKING DIE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
— L🤍 (@dianaocrown) December 6, 2021
NO KENDALL IN THE PROMO…….. #successionhbo pic.twitter.com/InHkCgYmv4
— ziggy stardust (@autismandhorror) December 6, 2021
Stay tuned for Brian Grubb’s Succession Report Card tomorrow morning.