Very Good Sentence Alert: ‘However, I Am Not Sorry For Pelting Simon Cowell With Eggs’

This weekend, a Britain’s Got Talent contestant named Natalie Holt did something many people have wanted to do for many years: She hucked a bunch of eggs at Simon Cowell. She apologized after the show, but as Burnsy noted at the time, she appeared to be “sorry about interrupting the performance but apparently not about throwing eggs at people.” Well, there’s a very good reason for that. As she explains in an essay for The Guardian, and I’m paraphrasing here, “SORRY NOT SORRY.”

Sayeth Natalie:

On Saturday evening, after serious consideration, I decided to make a little act of protest about something that matters profoundly to me. Before any explanation of that gesture, I’d like to apologise unequivocally to Richard and Adam, the contestants whose performance I disrupted; I was planning to do it once the song finished, but I got a bit nervous and went slightly early. I sincerely apologise for overshadowing their moment and to anyone watching and in the live audience who felt that their evening’s entertainment was marred, or even ruined. However, I am not sorry for pelting Simon Cowell with eggs.

As much as I wanted the essay to end right there, after one of the greatest sentences I’ve ever read, it did not. She went on to explain her reasoning for her egg-based protest:

I have received many messages of support from well-known musicians who I’ve worked with in the past, who’ve contacted me privately, but who are unwilling to express their support publicly. Everyone is scared of standing up to people like Cowell. I don’t dislike him personally; I just don’t like what he represents.

Reality TV talent shows are not the way to discover the next Beatles, or to nurture talented musicians and entertainers. The people who seem to benefit most from talent shows are the judges.

Look. Does she have a point? Kinda, yeah. And while I don’t necessarily want to open up the box labeled “Okay, Now It’s Cool For Grownups To Wing Eggs At Each Other Whenever They Have A Difference Of Opinion” because I have a big mouth and eggs are very sticky, I just … man. I really like that we live in a world where you can throw eggs at Simon Cowell and then publish an essay in a mainstream media outlet to tell the world that you are not sorry.

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