No one’s happy on The Walking Dead.
And just when someone thinks they are, something horrible happens. That’s the world the survivors live in now, and most of them have accepted this as fact. Everyone’s lost someone they loved, but who’s suffered the most? Consider this The Walking Dead misery power rankings. It’s a lot of “fun.”
8. Carol Peletier
Were it not for the whole zombies thing, Carol’s life would be better now than it was then. (This isn’t totally true, but just go with it.) She was a frail housewife, trapped in a physically and mentally abusive relationship with Ed. (Ugh, Ed.) But now he’s gone, and she’s strong, crafty, and a total badass. Things aren’t totally rosy, though. Carol lost her daughter, Sophia, and her adoptive daughters, Mika and Lizzie, killing the latter herself while asking her to “look at the flowers.” Then again, Lizzie was a serial killer in the making, so Carol may have saved us from a Baby Hitler situation.
Can’t be too miserable about that.
7. Rick Grimes
Cheer up, Rick. Yes, your wife died, but you still have Judith. And Carl. And you’re probably so insane that you’re unable to process emotions anymore. I regret not putting Rick lower… until I remember this. That’s a miserable man. (Carl’s not ranked, because as long as he’s got his pudding, he’s good.)
6. Deanna Monroe
We don’t know Deanna that well, but we’re aware of her trauma: a son, dead; a husband, also dead, slashed in the throat by Pete. She can’t allow herself to melt down, though, because she’s the leader of Alexandria. She must appear strong for her people. That facade is beginning to crack, though, and the recent Wolves attack didn’t help. In the next couple of episodes, Deanna might be in the top five.
The first time we saw Michonne, she was a cloaked figure carrying a sword, with a chained zombie on both sides of her. Yet, she’s become one of the more stable main characters, because she’s learned to use that pain for the greater good. (Mainly, slicing walker heads off.) Michonne lost her boyfriend and son, Andre, a hurt she still carries with her. In her scabbard.
4. Gabriel Stokes
Gabriel is higher than he probably should be, mainly because he makes viewers miserable. The priest is a morally simplistic coward, someone who can barely go a scene without sobbing. He’s barely evolved beyond his introduction, when Rick and the group find him on top of a rock, surrounded by walkers, screaming for help. Gabriel’s useless, and wracked with guilt. In short, he’s the worst. But not the one who’s suffered the most.
3. Sasha Williams
Sasha also has issues with not constantly looking like the sad-face emoji, but she’s been much better this season. Plus, unlike Gabriel, she has good reason to be unhappy: She’s a PTSD sufferer who lost her boyfriend Bob and brother Tyreese in quick succession. She’s a realist, which both works for and against her. For her: Her bullsh*t detector is higher than the rest of the groups. Against her: She can never be completely joyful, because she’s living in a joyless world.
2. Morgan Jones
Last Sunday’s episode, “Here’s Not Here,” put Morgan’s suffering on full display. He’s lost his wife and son, and suffered a crippling mental breakdown. Were it not for the efforts of Eastman, he’d either be dead, or muttering gibberish to himself in a circle of rocks and sticks. Morgan’s pain isn’t worse than anyone else’s on the show, but he’s barely able to deal with the depression that comes with losing the people you love.
Hence, “KILL ME.”
1. Maggie Greene
An obvious number one. She lost her mother at a young age, and her father, her sister, and possibly her husband since being introduced in season two. Maggie’s remained remarkably determined through it all, though, despite the Governor cutting her dad’s head off in front of her. Something tells me that, should Glenn actually be dead, we’re in for a complete snap, especially because she might be pregnant. Poor Maggie could really use a break.