The Marriage Ref (NBC) — America’s Sweetheart Gwyneth Paltrow headlines the guest panel with Jerry Seinfeld and comic Greg Giraldo. Wait, did I say America’s Sweetheart? That’s a mistake. I meant “uppity judgmental bitch.” Sorry. I get those mixed up sometimes.
The Imploders (TLC) — Tonight, they implode a cake. Probably. I’m just guessing.
Dudesons in America (MTV) — Series premiere. Starring Jukka, Jarppi, HP, and Jarno, it’s like “Jackass” but with Finnish guys. So I guess it should be pronounced “Yakass,” which shouldn’t make me laugh as much as it just did.
Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice (ABC) — Promos for these shows are the worst part about watching “Lost.” I actually feel insulted every time I see one.
Vampire Diaries/Supernatural (CW) — For young girls who will eventually become the women who now watch “Grey’s Anatomy” and ‘Private Practice.”
Community (NBC) — The highly-anticipated (by me) water paintball fight episode. And ladies, don’t tell me you wouldn’t buywhat Joel McHale’s selling. Later on NBC, “30 Rock” has a Mother’s Day episode. Speaking, of, since I didn’t make it to the post office to mail her gift today, I’d like to take this opportunity to say “I love you” to my mom. And I’d appreciate it if the commenters refrained from doing the same.