What’s on Tonight: Man Down

Man Up (ABC) — Series premiere. Some of the best-liked characters on TV include complex, layered alpha males like Raylan Givens of “Justified” and Ron Swanson of “Parks and Recreation.” What “Man Up” presupposes is, “What if that’s not true?” I, for one, am sick and goddamn tired of this beta male stereotype that supposedly represents a generation of men who don’t live up to traditional masculine ideals. Manhood is a complex, murky idea that changes from generation to generation, and while I certainly think there are a whole lot of pussies out there, a lot of them are pussies who love their wives and provide for their families and do manly stuff like kill scary bugs and take out the garbage without being asked. I would love to meet the ABC executive who thinks all men want to do is play video games with their fellow pussy friends, so I can stuff illegal fireworks in his underwear and throw him into a bonfire.

Gene Simmons: Family Jewels (A& E) — Season finale. Gene and Shannon get married, followed by a post-wedding special at 11:00 Eastern.

The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo) — Rachel Zoe LITERALLY goes into labor before, like, she’s ready for it.

Scream Awards 2011 (Spike) — Taped last Saturday. Awards given out to the best in the horror, sci-fi, and fantasy genres.

Parenthood (NBC) — Cee-Lo guest stars as a potential client for Adam and Crosby’s new studio. Note to expecting parents: please don’t name your child Crosby.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) — There were some complaints that I didn’t do a “Just the Badass Parts” for last week’s episode (406, “With an X”), but I couldn’t do it in good faith. As much as I enjoy Jax laying down the law on Ima, I can’t go so far to call men beating women “badass.” Maybe I’m just a pussy.