What’s On Tonight: A Bit Of Song And Dance With ‘Peter Pan LIVE!’

Peter Pan Live! (NBC, 8:00 p.m.) — A new Peter Pan musical spectacle for a new era as Allison Williams plays the boy who doesn’t want to grow up (acting!) and Christopher Walken plays Captain Hook. Watch it with a friend or turn it off after 20 minutes, find a copy of Hook, and mumble “Bangarang” to yourself while you eat a whole pizza, because you also don’t want to grow up.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (AMC, 8:00 p.m.) — Tis the season to program Christmas movies as filler, but unfortunately we haven’t even reached the good ones yet. It could be worse, I would have told you where to find The Santa Clause 3, which is on at this same time… somewhere. I urge the self flagelaters among you to seek it out.

The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8:00 p.m.) — Damon and Elena find a way into the prison world as someone else finds a way out of it.

Pauly Shore Stands Alone (Showtime, 8:00 p.m.) — This will sound harsh, but all I used to know about Pauly Shore was that he was a joke whose movies I often paid to see for reasons that 12-year-old me refuses to cop to. After a few years, though, he became an old joke and therefore culturally irrelevant. That’s the ballad of Pauly Shore, but while he’s been off of our collective radar screens, he’s continued to live a life and hone his craft. Has his journey outside of the limelight been a compelling one that will justify this 90-minute documentary? I don’t know, but I’m eager to find out.

Thursday Night Football (NFL Network, 8:25 p.m.) — Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears. Lately, we’ve had a really good run of primetime games where the teams have gone in evenly matched, but it would strain credibility to say that that streak will continue tonight. I predict three Jerry Jones smiles and a Jay Cutler absent gaze during the festivities.

Mom (CBS, 8:30 p.m.) — Jamie Pressly returns as the well-to-do addict and Christy’s sponsee in AA. This time, she invites Christy and Bonnie to stay with her when she gets back from rehab following her setback. Again, this IS a comedy.

Gracepoint (FOX, 9:00 p.m.) — Carver’s heart problem is getting worse, so his boss tells him he has a day to solve the case. Because when one has a heart problem, the absolute best thing for them is the STRESS of an all-or-nothing deadline.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ryan Seacrest and John Mellencamp (sans cougar) on Kimmel; Drew Carey on Ferguson; Angelina Jolie on The Daily Show; and Jennifer Aniston and Bill Burr on Conan.