Am I Surprised Michael Wilbon Is Still The Worst? NO, I AM NOT

04.02.12 6 years ago 40 Comments

Michael Wilbon is a jock-fluffing dickhead most of the time, but because you usually know where to find him on the air these days, he can be easy to ignore, despite his unwarranted stature in the sports world. But every now and again, he manages to say something so grating that it’s impossible to escape. Either that, or Wilbon pretends that his influence is so vast that he can make up baseless rumors out of whole cloth and just have people believe him. These invented rumors may be ridiculous and never come to pass, but they unfortunately and inevitably get bandied around and checked out, only to be shot down.

Wilbon, on a radio appearance today with Kornheiser, managed to solicit rage with both trollish athlete-favoring commentary as well as proclaiming that he got an exclusive scoop about RGIII without even trying. It might be the most notable example of Wilbon sh*theadedness since he said he was giving Albert Haynesworth a “standing ovation” for not reporting to camp in 2010 because Haynesworth was being a recalcitrant dick.

Today’s shining example of Wilbon repugnance began with a rant about the Redskins. There’s nothing wrong with going off about the Redskins, per se, but when Wilbon does it, it’s usually in the service of defending a player for the wrong reasons or because it’s a player Wilbon claims he’s friends with. In this case, it’s Donovan McNabb, who last week got all pissy in saying he wasn’t used properly by the team, a story that clashed with the reality that McNabb had nothing left by the time he arrived in D.C.

“His blast was the same as mine; it was great,” Wilbon said. “I called him and said ‘Good, I’m glad you had the guts to say it. I know you’re getting ripped. Good.’ I’ve said it on our show. The Redskins, if the next Joe Montana fell out of the sky, why would anybody look at them and give them the benefit of doubt that they could get it right?”

Their quarterback utilizing skills are JUNK. Did you know that Wilbon is friends with McNabb? Has it dawned on you since the last four dozen times that Wilbon mentioned it? Makes sense; you would have to be extremely close with McNabb to compare him as a faded 34-year-old to a Hall of Famer in his prime. If you can’t gameplan for bounce passes to a receiver, what can you do?

That’s not even the worst part. Hell, that’s fairly standard athlete-buddy coddling by Wilbon standards. No, the worst part was when he just had to engage in some intentionally off-the-cuff pot-stirring just to feel important.

“By the way, I will tell you this,” Wilbon said, mid-rant. “It’s not like I’m following this closely, but I had the occasion over the weekend to talk to a couple of people who have intimate knowledge of what the Colts are thinking. And you and I have talked very briefly on the show about are they still considering RGIII? Tony, I’m told they are.

“Well, you know, it’s not like I care or anything, because only insignificant people without access do things like care, but I heard this little tidbit that, if true, would have serious consequences about the very top of the draft.”

Wilbon is full of sh*t, of course, as he always is. I guarantee that he’s heard nothing. And if he has heard something, it’s not from anyone actually in the Colts organization, which is why he couches his source so awkwardly. If he heard something from someone who worked for the Colts, he’d identify them as such, but instead it’s people who have intimate knowledge of what the Colts are thinking. There’s a lot of wiggle room for bullsh*t in that statement and Wilbon will utilize all of it.

Even when he worked for The Post, Wilbon liked to believe he was above whatever was going on in D.C. He still knows how to rattle the fans there, though. So he knows that spurring doubt that the ‘Skins might not get RGIII is a quick and dirty way to accomplish that. Being the jackass he is, he does it while trying to affect an air of not giving a sh*t. Which, as he’d say, is JUNK. Pure JUNK.

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