*Record scratch, freeze frame* “Yup, thats me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Well, it all started when…”
Raccoons are a font of amusing local news stories, whether they’re daringly scaling buildings, stealing donuts and phones, being dazzled by disappearing cotton candy, or — in Milton, West Virginia, on Monday — getting so drunk on fermented crabapples that people thought two rabid raccoons were on the loose. Party hard.
The Milton Police Department wrote on Facebook, “So, Ptl Scarberry made his first apprehension today, taking this masked bandit into custody with assistance of Sgt Collins and several neighborhood residents. We have had calls on suspected rabid raccoons twice over the last two days. Turns out they appear to be drunk on crabapples. Ptl Withers caught one yesterday on Brickyard Ave with the help of the city street department. Today’s culprit was on Highland Ave and Mason Street and it was a community effort.”