Is This the Dorkiest Method of Transportation Ever Conceived?

Senior Contributor

Look, I’m not going to lie here: in high school, as I lacked the confidence to do things like talk to girls, I spent a lot of time studying the “circus arts”, which is a fancy way of saying I spent hours teaching myself to juggle. And part of being a huge juggling nerd is, eventually, learning to ride a unicycle. I spent all my free time basically teaching myself a set of absolutely useless skills, but since this was the late ’90s, it could have been worse; I could have been wasting my money on CCGs no one plays anymore.

I still juggle, but I’ve thankfully stopped riding a unicycle. And I’ll admit, it is really fun, and to other people, it’s impressive for the first thirty seconds, until they realize you spent hours learning how to do it and that you’re not going to stop unicycling despite looking like a huge dork. So, how can we subtract the “impressive” from that statement? Make a self-balancing, motorized unicycle of course! Behold the SBU!

Focus Designs, the company behind this sex repellent, tellingly has nothing on their site explaining why you should own something that costs $1500 and is guaranteed to never get you laid. We recommend spending it on something that will totally impress the chicks. Like maybe a Black Lotus.

[ via DVice ]

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