Logan Lerman Is Not Currently Spider-Man Nor In My Basement

Entertainment Editor

The widespread rumors Vince skeptically reported back in February appear to have been confirmed . . . or have they? (ooooo foreshadowey)  On Saturday, HitFix spoke to a source involved in the Spider-Man reboot who says Logan Lerman is “almost 100% locked” in the role.  He was almost 100% locked to the radiator in my basement.  Damn unreliable budget-priced chloroform.  What?  It’s okay.  He’s 18.

It didn’t take long for Sony to respond.  They’ve denied the rumor, saying “No offers have been made, nor have any business discussions been made with Lerman.”  The actor’s camp have also denied any business discussions.  There has to be a better way to refer to them than as a “camp”.  I’ve never liked that descriptive.  I’d come up with a better term to start using, but I have a pressing issue to attend to.

*Brings up IMDB*

Yeah.  18.

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