Mars Mission Simulator: The 520 Days of ‘Meh’

04.01.10 9 years ago 2 Comments

(Dr. Kyle is prescribing a sh-t load of jelly beans for this research.)

It’s time to play everyones favorite game “Guess What The Russians Built” and sadly, neither of the words “missile” or “blini” are in the answer I’m looking for. I’m speaking of course about the Russian-built mock-up of Mars, designed as part of a space experiment known as Mars500. The simulator is designed to house six crew members during a 520 day imitation Mars mission. Scheduled to begin this summer, the Russian/European headed project serves to better help researchers study the physical and mental effects a mission of such length would have on its crew, a necessary timeframe in order for astronauts to reach the red, zit-like planet.

Via technologyreview:

The facility, which mimics the red planet’s landscape, includes a mocked up interplanetary spaceship and Mars lander. For the simulation, the crew will spend 250 days in a spacecraft traveling to Mars, then 30 days exploring it’s surface, during which 3 people will move to the surface simulator and the others will remain in the spacecraft. The remaining 240 days will be spent traveling home.

As if being locked inside a wooden box for a year and a half, while your significant other goes out to Chilis with some a–hole from work, wasn’t enough, the crew members will also have to undergo simulated emergency situations, food rationing, intergalactic diarrhea, questionnaires to gauge their mental stability and an isolation chamber, as well as keeping a journal during the entire project. Sounds like an amazing time, I know. I can’t believe that all I’m going to do for the next 520 days is play X-Box and search for car insurance online.

Special thanks to dvice.com for the tip and their romantic commentor Korben, who so poetically touches on the topic of male-to-female ratio during the mission:

By Korben at 6:16 PM ON 03/31/10:

3 on 3 after a year and a half would defiantly result in kids. That would screw up the food amount. Also, seriously, This is just another freaking BioDome and did’t like half of them fail anyway. I wanted to just say “Paulie Shore did it”.

“I wanted to just say ‘Paulie Shore did it’.” Congrats, you just did Korben, you just did.

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