What’s Your Fantasy: Rap’s Top 30 Fictional Femmes

Art: Miss Dimplez

Hip-Hop is full of misogyny and sex acts with the most random, nameless women. But sometimes, rappers weave tales about ladies that hold special places in their hearts and/or spank banks. With that said, we’re going to take a look at some ladies named in classic Hip-Hop records. From Suzy Screw to Blowjob Betty to Brenda and her baby, all of these fictional lady characters are important in their own ways.

Take a look and see if you have any women like these in your address book.

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1. A Tribe Called Quest – “Bonita Applebum” — 38/24/37? Good lawd! Measurements that refined remind us why Tribe didn’t hesitate to whisper sweet nothings in Ms. Applebum’s ear before the whole world, back in the early 90s.

2. The Lost Boyz – “Renee” — Even though she wasn’t too big on Philly blunts, every Lost Boyz’ listener still has a little hole in their heart over Mr. Cheeks’ fallen ghetto princess.

3. DJ Quik – “Gina Statuatorre” — Fellas. Listen to me. It doesn’t matter if she’s got better curves than a Bugatti and says things that leave your jaw scraping the floor, if she’s not of age….run. Far. Away.

4. Eric B. & Rakim – “Mahogany” — Back during his prime, The God MC didn’t hype the honeys too much. But, when a Korean-looking dime tells you she wants to have your kids and help up the bank roll, breaking out the Dom Perignon is just the logical next move.

5. Too $hort – “Blowjob Betty” — There aren’t many girls named Betty anymore. We wonder if Shorty The Pimp’s ode to this Bay Area runner is the reason why?

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