09.21.07 11 years ago 25 Comments

UPDATE: I'd be remiss if I didn't make sure you'd seen his sweet dance moves. Probably not as sweet as this.

After a day filled with almost nothing but shitty directory updates, you'll be glad to know that Brad Pitt will be playing an Irish boxer in the upcoming Mickey Ward biopic The Fighter, replacing Matt Damon who was too busy.  Brad Pitt playing a boxer?  I have only one thing to say about that, and that's "Whydafuckahwannacaravanat'sgotnofuckinwhees?"

Pitt is in negotiations to play Dicky Eklund, Mickey’s half-brother and a talented fighter who once went the distance with Sugar Ray Leonard in a title fight but then turned to crime and landed in prison. He turned his life around and helped his underperforming brother find the spark for a remarkable run that led to the world title.

So wait, Brad Pitt's not playing the lead?  He's playing mentor to… Mark Wahlberg?  I'm not a Wahlberg hater, but this is Tyler Frickin' Durden we're talking here – he ain't no sidekick.   

See, me and Brad are a lot alike.  We both bang hot chicks, father babies all over the world, and we both don't play second fiddle to nobody.  Just ask Suzie McCormack, that little showboatin' bitch from 3rd grade string band, you just ask her what happens to people who think they're better'n me.  Yeah, watch your back, Wahlberg, you pussy.  

The picture will be directed Darren Aronofsky (since he directed a CGI-free sci-fi flick, I'll save you the rant about how much I hate Requiem for a Dream.)  [Via Variety

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