Senior Editor
08.27.09 33 Comments

Someone from Toronto recently started selling these handpainted Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson shower curtains on Etsy (which is apparently “a crafty cross between Amazon and eBay” and has been compared to “your grandma’s basement” — seriously).  My sources tell me that every purchase comes with a personalized disclaimer, “Are you sure your BOYFRIEND won’t mind?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, just kidding of course.”

No word on whether they’re resistant to cat fur and sadness, but I like to flip mine so the portrait’s on the inside.  That way Edward Cullen can watch me shower, and I don’t feel threatened because even though I know my naked body drives him mad with desire, he won’t act on it because he’s virtuous and white.  Plus he can help keep a lookout for feral minorities, with their motorcycles and greasy abdominal muscles.  ICKY!

PS – Stephenie Meyer wears mom jeans in the shower.  True story.

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