Someone from Toronto recently started selling these handpainted Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson shower curtains on Etsy (which is apparently “a crafty cross between Amazon and eBay” and has been compared to “your grandma’s basement” — seriously). My sources tell me that every purchase comes with a personalized disclaimer, “Are you sure your BOYFRIEND won’t mind? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, just kidding of course.”
No word on whether they’re resistant to cat fur and sadness, but I like to flip mine so the portrait’s on the inside. That way Edward Cullen can watch me shower, and I don’t feel threatened because even though I know my naked body drives him mad with desire, he won’t act on it because he’s virtuous and white. Plus he can help keep a lookout for feral minorities, with their motorcycles and greasy abdominal muscles. ICKY!
PS – Stephenie Meyer wears mom jeans in the shower. True story.