Senior Editor
06.23.09 66 Comments

Jay Maynard, aka Tron Man, who’s a computer consultant (shocking, I know), has been forced to sell his private plane on eBay due to the tightening economy.  I can’t believe this guy used to own his own plane. He must’ve had to beat the pussy off with a lightsabre. |Wired|

Universal bought the rights to Larry Doyle’s novel outline for a novel Go Mutants!, “a teen comedy/adventure set in a high school where all of the tropes from classic 1950s alien invasion movies came true. Years later, the children of those mutant creatures have assimilated among the other kids.”  Hopefully it’s as good as the film adaptation of Doyle’s other novel, I Love You, Beth Cooper, which is perhaps most generously described as a cinematic skid mark. |Variety|

Cher is set to play Christina Aguilera’s mentor in Burlesque, a film about “an ambitious small-town Iowa girl with a big voice who comes of age in a neo-burlesque club on Sunset Boulevard.”  So these burlesque places actually exist?  Are they like strip clubs for gay guys?  Drag shows with girls?  Anyway, I liked this when it was called Coyote Ugly.  Wait, no I didn’t. |Variety|

Kevin Lima has been hired to direct Frank, a modern retelling of Frankenstein, centering on “a teenage prodigy who’s on the cutting edge of cell research in medical school. After several unsuccessful attempts at socializing with her peers, she decides to use her scientific prowess and piece together a friend out of the med school’s instructional cadavers.”   Fingers crossed Mickey Rourke plays Frank, who’s always trying to get her to have a beer and pet his dogs.  |Empire|

And here’s the trailer for Rob Zombie’s H2.  I’d love to have something funny to say about it, but it’s just about the most boring thing I can imagine.  If they played movies at the dentist’s office, this would be the movie.

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