Apparently, Drake Likes Starbucks As Much As Sex, Money And Terry Cloth

Drake lives the kind of ambassador life that most people could only dream about. He has a deal with Brand Jordan, releases exclusive OVO-related kicks, can fan hop nearly every NBA team that suits him and of course, has his own whiskey line in Virginia Black where he and his father, Dennis Graham are taking shots at Dos Equis and their “The Most Interesting Man In The World Campaign.”

However, Drake’s latest ad on Instagram has us curious because; a) he’s never been linked to Starbucks and b) he’s never been this shameless in dropping hints as if he wanted someone to swipe right on his Tinder profile.

“I love terry cloth and sex and money and less problems in the world. Link me,” the 30-year-old global pop star wrote for a caption. We may have to break this down point by point to get a clear understanding here.

This Is An Ad? Drake, unlike Rihanna, doesn’t have a fail safe plan in case things goes awry in his relationships. In fact, this may be the longest Drake has not had a public relationship since Thank Me Later almost seven years ago. The squint, the proper positioning of the Starbucks cup, you’d swear he’s auditioning for the sequel to Eat, Pray, Love. Then again, his last reported ex is stunting on the ‘gram super hard so … yeah.

Is This Lost In Translation? We’ve known Drake to be a fan of obscure things. Back in 2008’s “Where To Now” mind you, he wanted to date a girl, relax and watch HBO’s great but sadly gone Flight Of The Conchords. With the pose and message, our good Canadian friend seems well aware of mocking the 2003 classic Lost In Translation with a little Suntory Time. If there’s any rapper on Earth who could play superbly famous and still want to snatch a caramel macchiato, it’s Aubrey Drake Graham. Remember when he was mad that one girl went to get some Kotex in his Bugatti?

Even though we won’t have a legitimate answer as to why Drake decided to throw what amounts to a dating profile ad on Instagram, here’s what we can infer. Drake, for having all the riches in the world and access to nearly every possible thing thanks to living in Calabasas, still wants love out here. And he’ll sip on more than a few Starbucks cups and take cheesy, “hey boo” selfies to show you.