When it comes to beverages, milkshakes occupy a strange, liminal space. They’re one-part drink; one-part dessert. All parts bliss. And though few people would simultaneously eat a burger and down a sundae, it’s completely fine to wash down a Quarter Pounder with a thick chocolate shake.
Being sensible humans with working tastebuds, we love milkshakes. So much so, in fact, that we’re ready to travel for the right shake. Think of it: a July road trip, heat coming off the asphalt, wind blowing through your hair, and waiting at the end of your drive — a frosty milkshake (not to be confused with The Frosty, which is also technically a milkshake).
Whether you crave a classic soda shoppe experience or hunger for a shake spiked with a healthy amount of booze, we have options for you. Time to hit the road — before fall comes around and we have to hear about f*cking pumkin spice again.
Holsteins Shakes and Buns (Las Vegas, Nevada)
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OH BABY! We're launching 5 NEW SHAKES today! From Left to Right, The Cotton Mouth, Black Hole (where my #Raiders fans at?), Cookie Jar, Vegas #Vegan, and #Covfefe. You know you want to try them all so swing on by! • • • • #holsteins #holsteinsshakesandbuns #holsteinslv #holsteinslasvegas #bamboozled #burger #burgers #fries #unlokt #lasvegas #lasvegaslocals #vegaseats #vegasdining #food #nomnom #instagood #instayum
Holsteins is happy to offer traditional shakes for customers to pair with their award-winning burgers, and they come in all the usual flavors like chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. But the honest truth is that this is Vegas and we’re way more interested in their “Bam-Boozled Shakes” — which are totally alcoholic. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so there’s no reason not to get fat and faded on these delicious confections.
Keep in mind that it will be hard to consume an entire shake and much of anything else. For instance, the Covfefe is made with Lay’s potato chip infused Russian standard vodka, confetti cake, cherries, a cornflake crispy treat, a cherry lollipop, sugar flags, Lay’s potato chips, vanilla frosting, and confetti sprinkles. There is even a Vegas Vegan made with Stoli strasberi vodka, vegan ice cream, pretzels, banana, peanut butter, raspberry sauce, a raspberry candy stick, vegan brownie bites, a dark chocolate pretzel rod, and banana Laffy Taffy.
We aren’t kidding about this joint: come hungry.
Sassafras American Eatery (Denver, Colorado)
Sassafras American Eatery is unique in that it’s a Southern-style eatery that specializes in breakfasts and lunches made from scratch with locally sourced organic ingredients. That means you have to get your shakes in early, which could be a little strange if you opt for a spiked one.