We live in a world that’s strange and ever-changing and often frightening. Only several short years ago we were enjoying traditional pastries, but now they’ve been replaced by newfangled culinary inventions that look like rainbows, taste like lipgloss, and have people lining up around the block (to Instagram as much as to sample). But with a new take on an old classic coming out almost every day (remember this monstrosity?) we’ve been wondering where humanity would actually draw the line. When would we rise up and say “stop, we aren’t eating this and you can’t make us pay seven dollars for it?”
It looks like we have an answer. And that answer is spaghetti donuts.
Yep, spaghetti donuts. That’s literally a thing now. And if you weren’t sold upon hearing the name, you may be even more horrified by the — admittedly delicious-sounding — crime against nature that’s being committed at Smorgasburg in Brooklyn (of course). Grub Street reports that the “donut” was created by Pop Pasta and is a savory concoction more akin to spaghetti pie than any maple-glazed you may have had in the past. It’s made by cooking spaghetti with cheese and eggs (good so far) and then forcing the mixture into a donut shape, ready for both consuming and posting all over your feed with captions about how you’re #blessed and #livinglifeto100 #staygrinding.
I don’t know about you, but don’t these kind of look like writhing worms trapped forever under some enchanted glaze? What witch cast this spell? What did the poor spaghetti do? And is there some kind of magic quest we can all go on to get the pasta out of the pastry?
While some people were simply confused — one of the comments on the above photo just reads “but why?” — others were a little more open about their hostility for the new things our demonic baking overlords have bestowed upon us:
You can get your hands on one of these come the weekend. Or you could stay indoors and pray that someday it will be safe to go outside again. Up to you!