At the rate we’re going, Dwayne Johnson’s Fast 8 promo images are going to get so ridiculous by the time the film races into theaters on April 14, 2017, Hobbs will be breaking out of his arm cast on the moon while fighting armies of alien babes. Let’s start with the latest image (above), which Johnson shared on Sunday. It features his character presumably beating the crap out of his fellow inmates in hilarious fashion. In fact, let’s hope this is just the tip of the jet-powered iceberg, and Hobbs beats everyone up to the point that they’re flying around like circus acrobats.
That hope might actually be an understatement. Here is Johnson, on the set of Fast 8 one week ago, cutting one of his all-time greatest promos in describing the scene with all of the actors and stuntmen playing the inmates and guards. Make sure your volume isn’t all the way up.
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I know you guys can see it… I have so much damn FUN playin' the character of HOBBS. A man who lives by a code of ethics, but who will also rip your throat out and give it back to you just so you can apologize for pissin' him off. For years our #FastAndFurious writer Chris Morgan, our @sevenbucksprod's producer Hiram Garcia and myself would always talk about how insanely FUN FOR THE FANS a "Hobbs prison breakout" scene would be – wrecking every fool that's in his way. Well that day has come, which is why I'm completely iced in my veins and amped out of my f*cking mind in this vid and clearly in need of a horse tranquilizer. Let Toretto and his friends preach family and love… Not HOBBS. The Iceman cometh. And he don't fucketh around. #OnSet #Fast8 #Iceman
We should all aspire to be that fired up about something just once in our pointless lives. As for why Hobbs is in prison, we don’t yet know the answer to that, but we can assume that it’s something that makes very little sense, otherwise it wouldn’t be good enough for this franchise. Regardless, Hobbs is now in prison orange, as Johnson previously shared…
And he will clearly escape after beating up all of the inmates and tossing them around like ragdolls, because that’s simply the story that made the most sense for Hobbs on his personal journey:
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When our Fast & Furious writer Chris Morgan said to me months ago, "How insane would it be if in Fast8, Hobbs was sentenced to the most hard core maximum security prison in the world!?" To which I responded, "How even more insane and FUN FOR THE FANS would it be if Hobbs said fuck this, I'm gettin' out… try and stop me." Our goal here was to give you – the fans – a "holy shit" iconic prison breakout. For days our intensity was thru the roof. As it should be. And that big round iron thing on the back of Hobbs' arm is commonly referred to from scientist as his tricep.😂 #Fast8 #HobbsStyle #TheIcemanCometh #AndHeDontFuckethAround #LetTheBodiesHitTheFloor
Then he will destroy cars and property in the name of stopping the bad guy, played by Charlize Theron, because even though he is an escaped convict, he is still a good guy who can beat everyone up.
He will still rock the Under Armour and carry an absurdly large gun around, because, again, as he has pointed out: “The Iceman cometh. And I don’t f*cketh around.”
Oh, and don’t worry, because they managed to find Johnson an even larger and more spectacular vehicle to drive than he has ever had.
At this point, we should expect that in Fast 9, Hobbs will be crushed by a tank, but his soul will inhabit the tank, and The Rock will simply play a talking tank. It is his Fast destiny.