Nicolas Cage is a busy guy. According to IMDb, his 2019 features six movies that have been or will be released, including Primal, a film where he plays a big game hunter who is trapped on a Greek shipping freighter with a terrorist and an albino CGI jaguar. Next year, in 2020, he has another half-dozen or so projects set to drop, including Pig, a film where he plays a truffle hunter who must venture into Portland to seek vengeance after his beloved truffle-sniffing pig is kidnapped. You’d book a lot of work, too, if you had all those dinosaur skulls to buy.
But it’s not all albino jaguars and truffle pigs for Nicolas Cage. Nope. The man has range. He can also do “unhinged Louisiana man who menaces strangers during a hurricane,” as you can see in the trailer for his latest upcoming film, Grand Isle.
But I have buried the lede here. I’m sorry. Grand Isle is not just a movie about Nicolas Cage possibly framing a handyman for murder during a hurricane. Grand Isle is a movie about Nicolas Cage possibly framing a handyman for murder during a hurricane that also features Kelsey Grammer as the tough Louisiana homicide detective tasked with investigating the murder. Look, here he is saying “Awwl signs clearly point to you bein’ the murd-ah-rah” in a thick Southern accent.
And here’s the official description of the movie from the press release.
Walter (Nicolas Cage) and his neglected wife (Strickland) lure a young man (Benward) into their Victorian home to escape a hurricane. When the man is charged with murder by Det. Jones (Grammar), he must reveal the couple’s wicked secrets to save himself.
Hmm. That’s a pretty good description. But it’s missing… something. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe a descriptive phrase or two. Something like “greed, sex, violence, and unspeakable discoveries.” Maybe a “trigger-happy” or two. What do you got for me, Hollywood Reporter?
Grand Isle will see Cage play a trigger-happy ex-Marine living on a quiet island in Louisiana with his seductive wife (Strickland). Forced to hire a cash-strapped handyman (Benward) to fix a fence destroyed while he was gunning down a home intruder, he finds his life taking a strange turn, and after a night filled with “greed, sex, violence and unspeakable discoveries,” a detective (Grammer) is brought in to lead a police investigation.
Okay, yeah. That’s what I was looking for. Nicolas Cage and Kelsey Grammer circling each other like cobras during a devastating Louisiana hurricane. It’s beautiful as-is, but even better if you hop in a time-machine to explain it to someone in, say, 1995.
YOU: Nicolas Cage and Kelsey Grammer are starring in a movie about a murder that takes place during a hurricane in Louisiana.
1995 GUY: Wow. The Emmy-winning star of Frasier and the Oscar-winning star or Leaving Las Vegas in a movie together? What is this, some sort of big-budget summer blockbuster?
YOU: Not exactly!
Maybe you would use your time machine for more impactful causes, like killing Baby Hitler or investing in Google at basement prices. That’s fine. It’s your time machine. I’m blowing minds about Nicolas Cage’s post-Oscar career, though. It’s all I’m doing. Nicolas Cage can play me in the movie about it.