Jim Carrey’s New Novel Envisions Gwyneth Paltrow As A Bloodthirsty Guru And ‘Viking Berserker’

Jim Carrey’s taken quite the story-filled tour while promoting his new novel, Memoirs and Misinformation (which he has described as “none of this is real and all of it is true”). He told Jimmy Fallon about those 10 minutes he spent thinking that he was about to die in Hawaii during the false missile alarm. The Ace Ventura star also related (to Marc Maron) the twisted tale of Fire Marshall Bill’s origins. However, the not-so-verifiable stories contained within Carrey’s novel sound just as entertaining.

USA Today reveals that the book, which blends fiction and reality, portrays his “Nic Cage” character as a guy “with an affinity for semi-naked jiujitsu and given to prophetic visions of saber-toothed tigers.” It’s not “true,” but it’s believable, right? And Gwyneth Paltrow makes an appearance as well, as Carrey and co-author Dana Vichon revealed. The real-life GOOP CEO’s fictional iteration “discovers an insatiable appetite for death” while pushing guided meditation to help her followers cope with the apocalypse and declaring that people should be happy and only concerned about getting “a little neck work.” Here’s more on that little gem:

Vachon: “You’re actually looking at the Goop proprietor there, but everything around that is the hard opposite, which is a Viking berserker who rejoices in combat.”

Carrey: “She seems so proper that it’s just like Jimmy Stewart saying dirty words, you know? There’s gotta be a little mercenary in her, you know what I mean? If she’s gonna be the CEO of a big company.”

Other celebrities who get roasted with absurd counterparts in the book include Kelsey Grammer and Anthony Hopkins. Oh, and Kanye West apparently gets the same treatment, although the novel would be hard pressed to eclipse Kanye’s messy and problematic behavior in our own world. As for Cage, though, Carrey said that he’s captivated with how he was portrayed: “He said Melville, would’ve loved this book! Heinlein would’ve loved this book!'” What an endorsement.

Jim Carrey’s Memoirs and Misinformation is available in stores now.

(Via USA Today)