Matthew McConaughey’s Latest Movie Had A Box Office Total That Was Not Alright, Alright, Alright

If you’ve been clamouring for a movie that makes Ben Hur look like an Avatar tier box office triumph, pitchman philosopher Matthew McConaughey can help you with your incredibly weird fetish. His latest motion picture couldn’t even crack $3,000 in its debut. To drive home that we have the correct number of digits, we’re going to say it again. Matthew McConaughey’s latest movie made under three thousand dollars.

The critically slaughtered drama The Sea of Trees made $2,730 in its first five days of release, according to Showbiz411. If there’s a caveat to this dreadful return, it’s that the movie only played in one theater. So it wasn’t an absolute sh*tshow financially versus the $30 Zyzzyx Road pulled in way back yonder, but that’s still an insanely low number for a recent Oscar winner that still gets tapped to star in major motion pictures. Come back, Surfer, Dude. All is forgiven.

In addition to McConaughey having a bit of egg on his famous face, he’s not alone on the receiving end of this commercial and critical drubbing. The Sea of Trees also featured Naomi Watts (who we can stand to see more of these days) and Ken Watanabe in the cast, plus Good Will Hunting helmer Gus Van Sant directed the picture. Taking into account the low number of (non-critic) eyewitnesses that rolled out for the film, we’ll go with A24’s description of their ill-fated release:

In this powerful story of love and redemption, Matthew McConaughey stars as Arthur Brennan, an American professor who travels to Japan in the midst of a personal crisis. As he wanders through a mysterious forest with a dark past, he experiences flashbacks of his fraught but loving relationship with his wife, Joan (Naomi Watts), and meets an enigmatic stranger, Takumi (Ken Watanabe), who is lost and injured. Arthur devotes himself to saving Takumi and returning him home to safety, and the two embark on a spiritual, life-changing journey of friendship, discovery, and healing—one which may ultimately re-connect Arthur with his love for his wife.

Maybe Matthew McConaughey will cover what led to the limp box office while teaching it up at the University of Texas.

(Via Vulture)